Homesick (Lesbian)

CHAPTER 2: Patterns

DREAM JOURNAL ENTRY #7

2:40 AM

I had that dream again. I'm on a small island in the middle of the ocean, and I'm alone. I don't know if it can really be called an island, it's just a piece of sand that can't be more than 2000 square feet, with small patches of grass and no tree to speak of.

The sun shines and the sky is clear and blue, but I'm terrified. I'm terrified because the color of the ocean is... off. That's the only way I can explain it. It doesn't look like the way ocean water should. It has that dark, sickish green color of ponds.

And there's something in the water. I haven't seen it, but I know.

I've always had that. It probably has a name. Everything has a name these days. Especially fear. If you're afraid of something, anything, no matter how absurd, there's a scientific name for it. And I'm sure there's a name for being so afraid of deep bodies of water.

How could someone not be afraid of the nothingness that the sea has? Am I crazy for feeling like this?

In any case, as per usual in a dream, I had lost something, and it was deep into that horrible looking water. So slowly I walked into it feeling cold and beginning to shake. The sand beneath my feet didn't feel like sand. It was squishy, like wet bread. Everything about this felt so wrong on so many levels, but I had to find what I had lost. I couldn't remember what it was but I knew it was important.

When the water reached my waist, I bent over and began to try and touch the bottom with my hands, trying to find my lost thing. It took a while but I found it. I brought it up to me and remembered. I didn't lose it, I threw it away and now I wanted it back.

As I stared at the gold ring in my hand, I felt an intense sense of pain travel down my neck to my chest. Even in my dreams, I remembered why I had taken my wedding band off, and threw it into the water.

I turned around to go back to the safety of the island, but this is when the floor began to move, it felt like a living thing, breathing and moving under me and my heart began to pump as every cell in my body told me to run away. It was too late. Whatever it was that lived in the water had me and I was drawning.

I woke up that morning at 9 AM. I hadn't slept much because of that dream I had but I did manage to get some rest. I got up feeling hungry, but it wasn't like I had anything to eat, and we were going for brunch in about two hours so I thought I could go a couple of hours without worrying about it.

I turned off the TV and took a quick shower. Yes, I'm one of those people that needs to sleep with noise so I leave the TV on. I wasn't always like that. It's a habit I developed over the years. I couldn't figure out what the hell to wear. Should I dress to impress, or would that be telling Scott's boss that I was trying too hard?

I decided to go halfway there. I wore a nice blouse, a blazer, but I paired it up with jeans and boots.

At 10 AM, Scott texted me the address just like he said. It was a small but fancy place across Central Park.

At 10:20, I decided it would be a good idea to get there early in case I couldn't find the address or anything else happened. I'm not good with addresses, I can walk around for days trying to find an address that was there and I just couldn't see it.