|| 𝐈 𝐍 𝐓 𝐑 𝐎 𝐃 𝐔 𝐂 𝐈 𝐍 𝐆 . . . ||
𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 . . . played by
Anne Hathaway𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐋𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 . . . played by
Timothee Chalamet𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐄 . . . played by Alan Rickman
𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 . . . played by Daniel Radcliffe
|| 𝐄 𝐗 𝐓 𝐄 𝐍 𝐃 𝐄 𝐃 𝐒 𝐔 𝐌 𝐌 𝐀 𝐑 𝐘 . . . ||
BY THE AGE OF five, children develop the ability to keep secrets. Keeping a secret from a parent can perhaps prevent a scolding, but more importantly, the ability to keep secrets is a major developmental milestone. To have a secret from others is to create an alternate world, one to which others don’t have complete access. With the ability to keep a secret, people can seal off an episode from others, protecting their personal information from what could be prying eyes.
BUT THIS CAN come at a cost. During adolescence, keeping secrets from parents is related to greater feelings of autonomy yet also to lower psychological and physical well-being.
LIKEWISE, IN ADULTS, secrecy is associated with lower well-being and relationship quality. And this is the bind. We keep secrets to protect ourselves and our relationships, and secrecy can achieve those effects. But keeping secrets can hurt us all the same. But how? How do our secrets affect us? For decades, psychologists assumed that, because concealing a secret requires a good deal of effort, concealment serves as a stressor, over time undermining our psychological well-being and eroding our health.
YET, WE SHOULD have always been suspicious of this explanation. Concealing a secret does not typically require a great deal of effort. In the very moment that concealment is required, only children (and that one friend we all have) actually struggle with keeping a secret concealed. Although our secrets do occasionally slip out, whether from a momentary lapse of attention or a glass too many of wine, we are actually excellent gatekeepers of our secrets. Those things that we don’t want most people to know are the very things that very few people know about us.
THE EFFORT INVOLVED in keeping a secret hidden from others does not, in itself, appear to be the main problem. Furthermore, how much people concealed their secrets was not related to their well-being. In contrast, how frequently people thought about their secrets was consistently related to lower well-being. Concealing secrets from others does not consistently harm well-being, but thinking about those secrets was associated with lower well-being.
WHY? WE DO not often find ourselves in interactions that are related to our secrets, and when we do, we are usually prepared to navigate those treacherous waters. Even though concealment is sometimes taxing, we are usually able to keep our secrets safe. Yet, thinking about secrets does not typically have the same silver lining. The more people think about their secrets, the more ashamed, isolated, and inauthentic they feel. So, the more our minds wander to our secrets, the more this emotional distress undermines our well-being.
THERE ARE MANY types of secrets. Here we'll see about secrets we keep to keep someone else safe. What’s behind this idea of keeping secrets? This can be more complicated than saving ourselves. For example someone close to you has a terminal illness and they ask you to keep it a secret. They don’t want other people to know because they don’t want them to feel sad. Or to pity them. They prefer to spend what’s left of their time without that pity or grief overwhelming them.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE could be in dangerous situations such as being attacked, chased or hunted by your enemies. You may have others with you, maybe even a child or your own children. You will keep secrets to ensure their safety. Sometimes at the expense of your own life.
This story is also available in quotev.com, under the same name and username, @. DivaOnARock
YOU ARE READING
𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗦
Fanfiction[𝗥𝗘𝗚𝗨𝗟𝗨𝗦 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞 × 𝗢𝗖] A combination of two famous time periods at Hogwarts. A secret that was hidden with the Marauders and revealed by their children. A single being that happened to be, not a human, a mere elf, connected the two worl...