Im always there for my friends, and if a Person is bad or mean or any of that negative stuff to them, they have to fight me first. I turned 12 years old Last year and i met alot of new friends, i met ppl who were very important to me. And some of them already had issues. They dont know how sceard i was to make it worse, they dont know how afraid i was to even start a convo with them. They trusted me alot, and that to fast, atleast thats what they said. Im just 12 years old and i try my best, i swear. So when they tell me something, something were i think "thats nothing i should know" but they still tell me, and i listen, thats for what friends are. My biggest fear was that all my older friends that i met, will be angry at me one day, will tell me that i do everything wrong and that im a bad Person. That nightmare, became reality. Now im the bad guy, who tells secrets to others, who cant handle itsself Problems. Im the Person who is a bad friend, who doesnt want to listen, and nobody can trust me now. I tried everything i could, and did anything i would do for every friends i have. But that was wrong. I did every thing badder than it was, i did everything worse, and i ruined everything. Maybe its better when i dont listen sometimes, when i ignore everyone issues and focus on myself. But i could never imagen that, i would never dare myself to do that. I want to be there for my friends. Back to the haters from my friends, when they say something wrong to them, i fight back. I cant let the thought just flow away and pretend like nothing happend! Sometimes i forget how old i am myself, i forget that im to young and that i just cant open my mouth at every moment when something happends. And i forget, that bad people excist that tell rumors to everybody, and make them belive that its true. Yea i forget that. But im only 12 years old. Im to dumb to understand that right. I know what i did wrong, and i know that i cant excuse everything with my age, but if thats the matter, then im sorry that i wasnt born earlier. Im sorry that i was born dumb, im sorry that i was born a gemini, im sorry that i was born stupit, and im sorry that i even was born. If i werent born in this world, you never had to meet me. You never had to talk to me, and never had to tell me secret, which you dont have to neither im alive or not. When i do something wrong, i know i did. When i do something wrong, i regret it. When i do something wrong i learn from it.
I cant change the past no matter how bad i actually would if it were possible, but i can learn from it. I deserve any kind of trouble, i deserve any kinds of pain, and I deserve revenge. What i can tell my friends, that if they think it the best to fight me bc i did something wrong, then do it. I deserve it. And if the universe thinks i deserve Carma, then i do. But rember that im 12 yrs old and that i dont want to make any live in this world worse. Oh and no, i dont even please you to forgive me, dont if you think thats the right way. Its about you not me.
Focus on yourself, not on my and not on anyone else.
And rember, that it was never my Intention to bring you in troubel.
YOU ARE READING
To young, to understand? - LuanaJANE
AdventureThis "book" which is not really gonna be a book, is based on a true expirence in my live. and i wrote it for everyone i lost. Read, and learn. -LuanaJANE
