The Day My Angel Came Home.

Everything was wrong. It felt like the world had literally ended, and that was saying a lot with the amount of times I’d seen that happen. I felt useless. Completely helpless. I couldn’t even take comfort from the fact Sammy had come back, because of how he’d come back. So all I could do was stare. just stare at the brown hair I’d run my hand through a million times, stare at the lips I’d kissed a billion times and stare at the chest I’d slept on rise and fall, making sure his breathing at least remained.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice broke my concentration, “You need to eat something, he wouldn’t want you to waste away…”

“I’m good” my voice sounded rougher than I expected, I’d wanted to hide my fear from Sam, hide the pain I felt right now but my voice, god damn my voice! I heard my little brother sigh while turning to leave the room, running a hand over my face while keeping my eyes fixed on Castiel. My Cas. My Angel. I couldn’t help the short burst of humourless laughter that escaped.

“My Angel, my ass” I mumbled, coughing away the new tears which sprung to my eyes. “I’ll get it back Cas, you just hang on okay? You hear me? You hang in there and I’ll get it back. No matter what.” My eyes flicked to his face again, all the delicate features I’ve engraved onto my brain, the brightness of his eyes that I saw everywhere I went, as if I was never alone. Just like Mom had promised.  I looked at him, the person I had finally given my heart to, and watched as his glowing dulled. When Sam had turned up with Cas thrown over his shoulder, eyes wide with concern, my heart broke. He had always been so vulnerable and trusting, yet strong enough to defy heaven…for me. The thought stuck. If I thought carefully all Cas ever did was for me and Sam and now this….  I heard Sam’s words echo around my head, the first words Sam had said to me in weeks, the same words that would change everything.

“Dean, he’s human.”

-

“A beer at this time in the morning?” Sam’s criticism pierced my ears during one of my few trips out of Cas’ room. It had been a week since he’d returned with Cas and neither of us had said much to each other, I felt him standing at the door way, watching me with Cas sometimes. I wonder if he was watching for change…and in whom he was hoping it for.

“How’s he doing?” my brother gives up and opens the bottle for me, blinking at the blank expression I give him.

“He’s human. How’d you reckon he is?” my voice was bland and empty, it reflected how I felt, locked up with my unmoving Cas. An empty shell of the original Dean Winchester.  “What the Hell happened to you guys?” I see him visibly gulp.

“I…I’m sorry Dean” Sam sighed, “We weren’t going anywhere, the whole thing with Michael climbing out the cage, the threat of Lucifer reclaiming my mind-“ he breaks of to shake his head then drags a chair over from the table and sits in front of me. “Michael found us” And with those three words my blood ran cold…again. “Jesus Dean I wish he hadn’t been but when Michael came for me Cas was there too” a faint smile crept onto his face “him being him protected me instantly and….” His face paled again, “Michael saw to it that he can’t intervene again.”

Wetting my lips I take a moment to get my head around what Sam was saying; “So, Cas’ own brother took his Grace away and made him human?”

“Pretty much” leaning over Sam takes my beer and gulps some of it himself.

“Oi, it’s too early for you” I frown and snatch it back. A small chuckle escaped him and sent an electric shock through me. I froze and just stared at Sam. That one small chuckle from my brother, just that split second reminded me why I fought so much. Why Cas fought so much. Slamming my beer down on the kitchen table I stride into the front room and shout “Michael you get your ass down here RIGHT NOW!!”