Can We Pretend // Billie Eilish

chapter five

Opening my fridge, I realized I only had two more frozen pizzas left before I would have to resort to ramen noodles for dinner. Even though it's been days since the whole ordeal with the paps started, they still haven't given up trying to get pictures of me leaving my house. Security had warned me that going outside, even to a store, would give them an opportunity to swarm me and shove their cameras in my face. 

That's why I haven't bought groceries for over a week — and now I'm running out. 

It's a good thing I had made plans to meet Billie later today. Hopefully I can make myself some home cooked food at her apartment. 

I close the fridge and get changed. Billie had texted me earlier asking if I wanted to come over since she knew I'd been cooped up at home this whole time. I agreed, but only because I wanted to see how she's been doing and if she still held me responsible . . . although I can't blame her. 

Once I'm in my car I call her. 

"Hi," I greet her as soon as she picks up. "I'm on my way."

"Oh my god finally, I told you to come over hours ago." 

I smile. "I know, I wanted to make myself some food before I came over but my fridge is all empty." 

"Alvina you should've told me, I could've sent someone over there with food." She said. 

I shook my head even though she couldn't see me. "It's okay, I thought maybe I could cook something at yours. That's kinda why I'm coming over right now."

She scoffed. "And here I thought you were coming over to spend some time with me." I could hear the laughter in her voice. 

"Yeah that too," I replied as I turned onto her street. "Holy shit that's a lot of cameras."

"Hmm?" She questioned. "Oh yeah, they've been camped out there over night too."

"I thought the ones outside my place are bad, but this is something else." I replied. And it really was surprising how many there were. I could make out a few security guards standing in front of her door, but on the street around them there were reporters and paps milling about. "I didn't realize they would be able to see me come in . . . where should I park?"

I heard shuffling as Billie moved the phone. "It's okay, they already know about us anyways. Just park your car outside the door and wait for a security person to come get you. He'll bring you inside."

"Okay." I breathed out as I came to a stop outside her house. A quick glance outside the window showed me that the reporters had their cameras ready and were slowly inching towards the car. However my sight was soon blocked by a security guard tapping on my window. 

I grabbed my purse and opened the door, immediately being met by flashes from the cameras. The security guard put his arm around me and led me towards the door as I tried to keep my head down. 

After what felt like the longest few seconds of my life, I walked up to her door as it quickly opened and found myself safely inside. 

It took a moment for me to adjust myself to the calmness of her apartment after going through the chaos outside. When I focused on my surroundings, I was met by the sight of Billie standing in front of me. 

What caught my eye at first were her clothes — sweat pants and a tank top. Even though it was such a simple outfit, seeing it on her made my heart beat faster than it should have. Looking up, my eyes locked with hers. 

I could tell she was tired. 

Despite the soft curls framing her face and the smile that she gave me, her weariness peaked through. The dark circles beneath her eyes told me all I needed to know; she hadn't been sleeping, and there was only one explanation as to why.