The Walking Dead: Love And Survive

Chapter Nine: Got What He Deserved

Nick was already gone when I woke up. I first guessed that him returning was just a dream, but that thought changed quickly when I saw his hat on a cupboard, next to the bed. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I was feeling horrible. Not because Nick was gone, but because I've felt anxious, weak, broken, fractured and more and more. I cannot even explain what was I feeling in that moment. I lost all my strength and became really fragile and sensitive, towards literally everything. I didn't want to show this side to others, I didn't want to be any trouble, but deep down I knew, that if I just held every tear and kept every feeling back, then I would eventually tear apart and let my feelings take control on me. I grabbed Nick's hat and kept hugging it. I didn't want to act or stay like a kid, but I was slowly falling apart. I was so sick of and done with everything. I wanted my family, my life back. I wanted to live happy and not worry every day about who will die or what will happen. My heart and mind felt so heavy. The more I kept telling myself everything is okay and everything will be okay, the less I believed it. I wished the world would change, but I knew it would never be normal again, at least not any soon... I missed hanging out with Brian and the others, I missed waking up satisfied every morning, I missed normal meals and sleep, I missed everything that I used to call "happy" and "life". I mostly missed my beloved ones and I missed being normal, being clean. In better cases I could clean my face and get the Walker blood out of my clothes and skin, but wasn't as before... I missed the little things the most. I've felt like I was slowly turning crazy.. I was thinking too much and just wanted to cry. I laid back. I kept hugging Nick's hat and crying. I felt like a little girl, who was lost and just wanted some love, some understanding and that made me uncomfortable. I always hated feeling weak and vulnerable, as it was an effect of liability, that would have just gotten me killed... I could not help it, at least not always easily...
I got enough of pitying myself. I put on Nick's hat, I don't know why, I just did, and went to the bathroom, that was on the right of the wooden board, to wash my face with cold water. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. I saw my wounds healing well, although my eyes were still a bit purple and red. My face was a little more bruised around the cheeks and chin, but it wasn't too painful. Those already colorized from purple to greenish and blueish. I also saw a "little" girl, who just wanted to stop worrying about surviving, about her loved ones, and, or who was going to die next.
After cleaning my face I went downstairs.
- Damn, you look like a portrait painted by Van Gogh. - Brian noted and laughed.
- Nice hat. Where'd you get that from? - Nick smiled.
- I ordered it. Pigeons just delivered.
Everyone laughed. Albeit I wasn't sure how to react or act. I didn't want them to sense anything. My laughs were fake and neither my smiles were honest. It was relatively easy to fool the others, but Brian, Nick, Pete and Luke who knew me for a very long time, could see through me, specially Nick. Hiding my bad feelings was difficult from them.
- Sit with us, niece. I made lunch. Or dinner. I am not sure. I guess it's late afternoon. I lost my sense of days and time.
I sat down.
- Here you go. - he placed a plate in front of me.
- What is it this? - I poked the little slices that were covered in some red sauce.
- Fish chops and bean sauce or whatever. Not sure what I did, I just put on something. - he laughed.
- Oh, nice. - I took a little bite of the food, then pushed my plate away.
- Don't you like your uncle's dish?
- It's good, Brian. Really. I just.. I don't feel hungry. I don't wish to eat...
Nick put one of his hands on mine.
- Hey. What is it? You are hiding something... - he petted my hand with his thumb.
- Forget it... It is not important...
- What makes you like this is probably very important, at least for you. - said Pete. - Hell, trust me. Seeing you looking like this makes us feel like shit, too.
I took a deep breath and gathered some strength to give out what was on my mind.
- I'm just.. Tired. Tired of running, worrying about who will die next, how will we survive, if we can at all, what are we gonna do, where are we gonna stay? I'm aware of Carver still being after us, I feel unsafe and I'm afraid. I'm scared. This whole World is so fucked. It will never change, nothing will be alright. I'm unhappy. I want to live normal, I want everything as it was before. I'm scared to lose any of you. I'm just fucked. We all are. And so is this life. - I bursted into tears.
- Hey. - Nick turned my head and kissed me. - We will make it. You know that. We are here now. We escaped from Carver. Things only can go better after the Carver - case is finished.
- Actually... - Tavia came in with Wyatt. - We were scouting down by the stream and heard some people. And I'd doubt it is not Carver.
- Noo..! What are we gonna do, Dad?
- I don't know, Sarah...
- We could distract them. - said Wyatt. - And you will have enough time to run. Bill wouldn't kill us.. - he kept a few seconds silence. - Probably...
- But, Tavia... What if anything happens to you?
- You know, Brian,after what Carver did to my sister.. I don't care about dying, if I'm saving you all. What Bill would provide is not just not perfect or normal, but it ain't a life at all. Move. Don't make it harder.
- They don't have to. - Carver came in with Troy and Hank on his sides. They both were carrying AK's.
- Are you fucking kidding me... - Brian whispered.
- Tavia, Wyatt, nice catch. - he smiled.
- We are not on your side, Bill. - Wyatt flashed an angry grin.
- You what? - Carver's expressions changed in a sudden.
- We've had enough of your shit. - Tavia pointed her gun at them. Wyatt did, too.
- You ungrateful bitch. How you dare?
- Fuck you, Bill. What you are doing is just wrong! - Wyatt shouted.
- You did enough! - Tavia joined him.
- Oh yeah? Let's see what you can do. - Carver crossed his arms. He was too sure in himself.
Tavia raised her eyebrow and shot Troy in the crotch. He fell to the ground. Wyatt, to stop Hank from doing anything, shot him in the head. Carver widened his eyes and looked through his men.
- You.. Useless... - he wanted to run.
Nick ran after him and jumped on him, pulling him to the ground with him.
- Motherfucker. - he punched into his nose.
- Son.. - he hit Nick back and forced him to the ground and slammed his head. - You never learn. Look at that. - he pointed at me. - You wanna end like this?
That was enough to infuriate Nick. He kneed into Carver's stomach and jumped on him, and gave two hits in both his eyes. He grabbed him by his coat.
- You fucking asshole. - he punched his nose again. - Now you listen and learn one fucking thing. You don't EVER fucking touch my girl. - he headbutted him. Carver's nose ran blood. Nick kept punching him until he "popped" out Carver's left eye, then gave more hits on his lips, 'til it started bleeding and lost one tooth, then stood up and kicked the weakened Carver in the face. - You think it's funny? You think what you did is funny? - he stomped his right eye. - Is that funny? Motherfucker.
- I am not even going to stop him. - I was shaking my head slowly.
- Hell, I would not even let you to, gurl. - Tavia laughed. - He deserves.
Nick nearly beat the shit out of Carver. He lost his left eye and almost the right, too. He was choking and slowly drowning in his blood. His whole face was bleeding and his nose broke.
- Die you motherfucker. - Nick came to us. His knuckles were covered in Carver's blood and bit of his T-Shirt, too.
- Not gonna lie. Was scary to see you like this. - Luke surprised. - But.. Woah.. Nice one.
- You did good. - Tavia smiled.
- He got what he deserved. Good one, younging. - Pete laughed.
- Thanks, bastard.
I put his hat on his head and smiled at him. He did, too.
- You crazy. - I kissed him.
- You love that crazy idiot.
- Ew. Your crazy blablabla. - Troy made fun of us.
- Shut the fuck up. - Nick kicked his head and kissed me again.
- Fuck you. - Ow. - Troy was kicked again.
- Em guys.. Look behind... - Sarah panicked.
We didn't realize that the gunshots dragged a herd to the cabin.
- RUN! - Alvin yelled.
- We'll cover you! - Wyatt stood in the back with Tavia.
- Carver and Troy would distract them, while Walkers chew them! - Brian tried to make Tavia and Wyatt to run.
- Brian, you and the others move. There are many of them. Too many. Fucking go! - Wyatt yelled and let out some shots.
We ran away. I felt bad leaving them behind... We've never heard of them, nor seen them ever again.. I just hoped they made it out, aswell...
It was not really easy leaving the cabin behind, as it was our "new home" after all.. But Pete, Sarah, Rebecca and the others had it worse. They used to live and stay there before... And for Rebecca and Alvin.. It meant the safety for their baby... And for all of us... We were forced to the road again.. No food, no supplies, only a gun, screwdriver, knife and a hatchet were all our weapons. We all were scared and worried, and desperate.. Desperate to find a place to call home.. If we were going to at all...