IᘜᑎOᖇᗩᑎᑕᗴ - ᗰIᑎ YOOᑎᘜI

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Wow.“ You struggled to keep your voice steady. "Wow, Min Yoongi. I’m – Wow. You really outdid yourself this time.”

A frozen smile stretching your lips, you started clapping your hands together, not feeling anything. Your limbs were numb, as was your face.So, this is what they call an out-of-body experience, you couldn’t help but think to yourself as you watched Yoongi staring back at you, his soft features twisted into an ugly, bitter scowl.

“You can be so mean.”

Your voice was barely more than a breathless whisper.

You hated how small it sounded in the silence of the studio.

“I know,” was all Yoongi said, his face bare of any expression. ❞

Dont leave me now...
Will

Text you when I can.

Those were the last words Yoongi had sent you. Six whole days ago. Ever since then: Radio silence. No calls. No texts. No sign of life. Just a tweet on BTS’ official Twitter account, spoiling a new track he was apparently working on two nights ago.

Granted. The song sounded like it was going to be yet another masterpiece, born from the mind of the incredibly talented composer he was, and you loved it instantly. The tune was catchy, touching, melancholic, rich with emotion, Yoongi’s burning passion for his work seeping out of every beat. And you could guess it was coming from a dark place, that he had fallen into one of those bottomless and lonely pits of self-doubt and hopeless despair yet again. That Yoongi’s mind was spinning in circles, working around the clock to convince him that he was not enough, unworthy of the fame and affection he so much deserved.And you wanted nothing more than to be with him in this time of hardship, to show him that he was not alone, that you could see his pain, that it was valid and that you would leave nothing untried to alleviate it and show him the beautiful, lovable man you saw every single time you looked at him. You also knew, however, that he wouldn’t let you. You had tried often enough. In the state Yoongi was in, he would only reject your affection and try to push you away even further to prove to you and himself that he was not the one for you in the first place. That you deserved ‘better’.

And you tried to be understanding, having been there before. After all, you yourself were no stranger to the Great Sadness and the conflicts of the heart it often entailed. And, from time to time, it still paid you a visit. But you fought it with all you had. Every. Single. Time. Because you refused to let it take away from you once more what you held dearest.

Yoongi, on the other hand, didn’t seem to put up much of a fight recently. And you knew all too well that you couldn’t make him. Nobody could. It was a decision he had to make by himself. Whether or not he would give in to his self-destructive tendencies and allow them to suffocate your love. And even though it pained you to admit this truth, you could feel yourself tiring out from fighting for the both of you. He didn’t even talk to you, the one person he was supposed to be closest to. The one person he swore to always be honest with. Instead, Yoongi shut you out entirely.

And tonight, you were going to give him one last chance. One shot at fixing the damage he had done.

So you stood there, knocking on the door to his studio that he reportedly had not left in over twenty hours.

“Yoongi, please open up. It’s me, y/n. Your girlfriend. Today is our two year anniversary, in case you forgot.”

Silence. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.

You involuntarily held your breath.

Finally, the lock clicked open.

“Of course, I didn’t forget,” Yoongi grumbled in opening the door for you. His hair was tousled, his eyes puffy, his shirt crinkled. He didn’t even spare you a single glance when you slipped past him into the studio.

“How could I?” He went on, kicking aside a few empty cans of beer and Red Bull. “I set a stupid reminder on my phone. Woke me up at eight in the fucking morning. Never gonna do that again.”

His careless words hurt you more than you should have allowed them to.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that this day is as meaningful to you as it is to me.”

“What’s with the tone?” he blinked at you, blinded by the harsh white lighting.

“Yoongi, what the hell is going on with you? When’s the last time you took a shower? Or ate something?”

“I had a bag of Bugles just the other night.”

“Something real. A healthy meal.”

“What does that even mean? Healthy? Do you think those stupid diets you’re always on are healthy? Or binge-drinking with your so-called work friends? That guy? What’s his name? The one you always smoke with? Do you think that’s healthy? We both know you’re no saint. You might be better at pretending, but you’re not above those self-destructive patterns you condemn. And that you’re really the last person to lecture me.”

You stood there, paralyzed, mouth open, gasping for air, merely staring at Yoongi, your cheeks burning, eyes watery.

“Wow.” You struggled to keep your voice steady. “Wow, Min Yoongi. I’m – Wow. You really outdid yourself this time.”

A frozen smile on your lips, you started clapping your hands together, not feeling anything. Your limbs were numb, as was your face.

So, this is what they call an out-of-body experience, you couldn’t help but think to yourself as you watched Yoongi staring back at you, his soft features twisted into an ugly, bitter scowl.

“You can be so mean.”

Your voice was barely more than a breathless whisper.

You hated how small it sounded in the silence of the studio.

“I know,” was all Yoongi said, his face bare of any expression.

“You know, I was going to give you one last chance to make this right.” At this point, tears were streaming down your face, melting your paralysis, allowing the pain to leak in through the cracks they left. It hit you in smothering waves. “And it’s not like I expected you to come crawling back to me on your knees, begging for forgiveness or anything. But I thought – I really thought there was some part left of you that still loved me. Enough to be the bigger man. Guess I was wrong.”

You turned around without leaving Yoongi time to respond. Because you knew that, right now, in your state, you wouldn’t be able to take his sarcastic retorts and half-hearted excuses. Not again. Not this time.

“Crawling back to you? Why should I? Why would I have to?” he asks. And you freeze with your hand already on the door handle. “Back to you? Did we split up? Did I miss something?”

“Think about it, and you’ll know.”

“Well, I’m too tired to think. So enlighten me, please.”

Your lips pressed together to keep your teeth from shattering, you turned back around even though you had sworn to yourself you wouldn’t. Despite everything, Min Yoongi was still your greatest weakness.

“I really can’t take this anymore. Just tell me to leave and I will.”

“Leave?” He seemed confused.

“Yeah. For good. Just tell me to go now, and I swear I won’t come back. I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll leave, and you can finally brood in peace. Isn’t that what you want?”

For a few seconds, Yoongi only looked at you, lips parted slightly, moving but not making a sound. But you were tired of waiting.

With one last shake of your head, you turned to go, prepared to leave for real this time.

But three words, spoken in a low voice, held you back.