Self Worth - Fred Weasley Fan Fic

wake up call

Elia spent the next two days quiet and kept to herself. She was lost in her own thoughts and guilt. Right after classes ended, she'd head straight to her dorm and not leave for the rest of the day, not even to attend feast. 

"This habit of yours is keeping you from enjoying real life...Congratulations, you'll never hear from me again"

Did he really mean that? Did she really keep herself from enjoying life? Was he really not going to talk to her again? Her mind revolved around their last conversation for the past two days and she questioned her life entirely. Elia did feel like she didn't enjoy life as much as others, but was there anything wrong with that? Did she not enjoy life because it was boring or was it boring because she didn't enjoy it? 

Elia remembered how stupid she'd feel every time he asked her a simple question about herself. They were all basic questions too like things she liked, things she didn't like, etc.  

All Elia wanted to do was sit with someone who would give her a straightforward answer to all her questions. However, the only person that she knew would really help her, was the one person she couldn't talk to. Plus, Elia took advantage of his patience, Fred had every right to walk away. 

Elia laid down in her bed completely absent-minded when she heard a distant conversion from Alison, Camila, and Hermione slowly start to get louder as they approached their dorm. Elia just stayed in her bed as the blissful lot walked in. 

"Hey Elia, Still feeling sick?" Alison asked sitting at the edge of Elia's bed and placing a tender hand over her calf.

"a little" Elia said as she got up to lean on the headboard to face the girls. The three girls continued talking about old memories as Elia stared into the abyss.

She sat there in silence when an idea popped into her head. What if they could answer her built-up questions the way Fred could? After all, they've known Elia the longest and are her closest friends, she should be able to open up to them. Still, Elia hesitated at the thought. She was never one to ask them questions about herself or even open to them. But Elia needed answers and she figured, why not get them from the friends she trusted most?

"can I ask you guys a question?" Elia asked with her focus still elsewhere.

The girls stopped their conversation to face the girl who hasn't spoken more than three words in the past two days and Camila replied, "yes, of course. hit us"

Elia furrowed her eyebrows remembering one of her first conversations with Fred and asked them, "what's my favorite feeling?"

Elia sensed them a bit taken back due to the dead silence. She looked up and saw the looks on their faces indicating that they didn't quite know the answer. 

"hmm, I don't know. I dont think you're really the type to have one" Camila responded genuinely.  

"Well do you have one?" Elia asked.

Cami nodded, "Oh yea, mine is probably...the feeling of laughing too hard"

"that's probably mine too" Alison added causing her and Cami to return to their conversation, not noticing the fact that Elia wasn't finished talking. However, Hermione stayed quiet as she was the only one who did notice.  

"Why didn't I join quidditch if I like it so much?" Elia asked breaking their conversation again..

A light bulb went off in Cami's head as she answered, "Oh that's easy! You dont know how to fly a broom" 

"Then why didn't I try to learn?" 

"umm, probably the same reason Ali doesn't try to learn, cause she's afraid of failure!" Camila teased with a pout, causing her and Alison to chuckle as Elia's stomach dropped at the unknowing satire. Hermione remained silent as she observed Elia's abnormal behavior and sudden urge to find the answers to such odd questions.