Winterfire

Chapter Twenty-eight

Lif

Beneath everything else, Lucan was always on my mind; now I understood my longing for him was more than just young love. The urgency I had felt since I’d first arrived grew stronger than ever. I had to get out of this place and back to Asgard as quickly as possible. I had to find Lucan. “You said you would allow me to see Baldur and Hodur. Can I do it now?”

“Certainly. I’ll even let you use my home as a meeting place. I’ll just have Ganglati fetch them. They were seated beside their barrow mounds when you and Mordgud passed by, you know, but I suppose you’ve never seen them before. They were long gone from Asgard by the time you arrived.”

I  had not heard Hel call Ganglati, but all at once, the gigantic woman was beside me.

“Please bring Baldur and Hodur here to see Lif,” Hel said. Ganglati nodded once and swiftly left the room.

“She’ll be back shortly, but there is one more thing I must tell you before I leave you. Every being, every object in Helheim is against you and will do anything to stop you. You have already experienced some pain, I know about your severed finger, but I can promise you that is nothing compared to what lies in store for you. I am offering you a chance to renounce the gods. Stay here with me and fight for our side. I cannot promise you will survive, but neither can the gods. I can promise you that all the force I will use against you will, instead, be turned to protect you.” Hel fixed her piercing blue gaze on me.

I’ve been working on my fear response since the Danes took me. I knew now that if threatened, I would fight. I wouldn’t scream and cover my eyes. I had a powerful weapon and I knew how to use it. But not running away from danger is not the same thing as willingly going into it. Until Mordgud chopped off my finger, I’d never actually been in a situation requiring me to decide to fight, to subject myself to physical pain, and I didn’t like it. I was afraid. My stomach quivered and my hands shook; I held Breyta tightly so Hel wouldn’t see. More than anything, I wanted to just go home. I wanted to give up. I have come this far. I have to do whatever must be done. There is no one else to do it.

Hel leaned forward in her chair, gripping the arms tightly and drew her words out slowly, as if she were unsheathing a mighty sword and wanted to terrorize me. “I bring astounding, agonizing, power.”

I held my breath to keep myself from shaking. I stared steadily back into Hel’s eyes and counted to five. “Bring it.”