Second Chance

It's Like a Flashback

Since Edward was good at pretending and making things seem less awkward, we did not try to hide our love for each other when John was not around anymore. It would not get weird when John was back with Edward was here.
I knew what we were doing was wrong, and so did Edward, but it hurt too much to pretend that we were simply friends. Not after what everything had happened. And I loved John just as much as I loved Edward so I could not break up with John and get together with Edward. No. That was impossible.
I hoped John would never find out about this and… We would sort it out eventually, so all I could do was simply go along with it, and hoped for the best in the future. We would come up with something, I was pretty sure.
I wished I would not ruin my second chance. I must make sure everything would turn out perfect at last. But currently I did not know what to do so I thought I would needed some time.
Time passed with me staying between John and Edward, and eventually it had got to the day when Edward… Died in my previous life, as I called it.
I was being jumpy all day and I was nervous about what was going to happen tonight. I knew what to do and if John was going to go out just like last time, I was not going to be nosy and follow him – as long as he was walking on the main street to get to the stores, he would never run into the gang. I knew he would not mind me following though, as I was being understanding and was not as bossy in my current life and like what I had mentioned before, John was more attached to me this time.
Still, I did not want to risk it. I did not want anything to go wrong and even if he said something that hurt me, I was not going to run away and into that deserted path.
I spent the day with the twins at home and I was being quiet. I was getting more and more nervous when nighttime began to fall.
They both noticed my uneasiness, but did not question me about it. I loved how they gave me some personal space, just like what I was doing all the time. I was not crying or anything so it would not bother them. They were probably thinking that Mother Nature was about to pay a visit to me, so I was acting weird, which was partly true. They were always paying close attention to me.
And sometimes I thought they would be better off without me. I did not deserve them. But leaving them would just leave them both heart-broken, and I could not bear the thought of it. And I was too selfish to force myself away from them. I could not bring myself to imagine how they would find some other girls who were not me.
Although I was dragging the moment, the time had come. John came up to our room and found me sitting on the edge of the bed thinking.
“You want to go out?” John sat down next to me and asked me gently, “I’ve run out of chewing gum and I’m going to go to the stores to buy it. Want to have a stroll with me?”
“I’d like to but I’m tired,” I shook my head and gave him a weak smile – I thought it would be safer if I stayed home while John was outside. Last time when we both were outside, troubles happened. He would be safer if he was alone.
“Okay,” John said understandingly, “I’ll come back soon.”
“Alright,” I said and John gave me a quick kiss before going out. He was being sweet and as much as I wanted to go with him, I could not.
I sighed, and stared into space. I hoped we could make it through the night safely.
“Can I come in?” Edward’s voice suddenly rang from the door. He was leaning against the frame and he had a soft expression on.
I nodded, and Edward came to sit down next to me. He put an arm around me and I leaned my head against his shoulder automatically – John was already out, or Edward would not have come up.
He rubbed his hand gently up and down my arm, and we stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s company.
“Is everything okay (Yn)? You seem so quiet today,” Edward said softly after a while.
“I’m okay,” I said, “I’m just tired.”
“You know you can tell me anything, if you don’t want to talk about it with John that is,” he said, “Just remember not to keep everything to yourself, okay? I love you.”
He was so sweet, “Thanks Edward, I love you too,” I sat up and looked at him.
He flashed his signature Edward smile at me and he leaned in closer. I closed my eyes and moments later I felt his lips on mine, and we began to move in sync.
He pressed me closer to him and rested his hand on the small of my back while I wrapped my arms around his neck. The kiss got more and more intense but suddenly I heard someone gasp from the doorway.
We quickly broke our kiss and snapped our heads towards the source of sound. We had never expected that he would come back so quickly and we were wrapped in our own bubble that we did not hear him enter the house. A shocked John was standing there, and the plastic bag slipped out of his hand, making everything scatter all over the floor.
The content falling out made my heart shattered into pieces, like it had not hurt me enough to see John’s pained face.
Besides his chewing gum, there were lots of my favorite stuff which could be bought in the convenience store – he had got me the magazine that I liked to read, and some sweets and snacks that I ate whenever I was unhappy – and he even got me a teddy bear. He must have got it from another nearby shop which had not closed yet.
I could see John’s eyes begin to water, and Edward and I were still sitting on the bed, transfixed.
“I can’t believe this,” John whispered in a trembling voice, “I was thinking about you all the time when I was out, worrying over the fact that something might be bothering you (Yn), and I got you all these, hoping to cheer you up – not in a million years would I think that I’d come home and find you cheating on me with my brother!”
I was so shocked that I could not even speak. I could barely move besides opening my mouth and shutting it again as no sound was coming out.
“John, we—” Edward stood up and wanted to say something, but John cut him off and kept looking at me.
“You didn’t expect me to return so soon, right? I was simply worried about you and wanted to come back and see you, and give you the stuff you like. But you repaid me by cheating on me? Don’t you know this will hurt me? And what makes it worse is that you’re not cheating with some random boys, but MY OWN TWIN!” a tear rolled down his cheek and he caught it quickly with his sleeve, “Of all the times that you said you loved me, you didn’t mean any of it, did you? You were just trying to use me and – and get together with Ed—”
“No John,” I cut him off and stood up too, “I love you. I still do. I always do. It’s just that I love both of you and I’m sor—”
“Don’t tell me that,” John said as more tears fell from his eyes, and he did not try to wipe them away as it clearly would not be much help – and I myself started to tear up, and I darted a glance at Edward and could see that his expression was twisted – not only me was hurting seeing John like this, Edward was too, “I’m not believing anyone anymore. How long has this been going on, huh? I bet it’s been like this since forever. Why am I so dumb not to realize this? Why did I even fall for you and give you everything my heart is capable of giving? Why?”
“John,” I said, trying not to let my crying slur my words, “Please let us explain, I REALLY LOVE YOU, or why will I still stay with you even though me and Edward—”
“STOP,” John yelled, “I don’t want to hear anything anymore. Have fun with my twin. I’m leaving.”
Then he turned around and sprinted down the stairs and out of the house. I panicked, and quickly followed him with Edward close behind. He could not run out like this – this reminded me of last time too much!