we are flowers {cake au}

chapter 18; i never (february 7, 8)

now they're going to bed
and my stomach is sick
and it's all in my head
but [he's] touching his chest now
he takes off [his] [shirt] now
let me go
and i just can't look
it's killing me
mr. brightside; the killers

★ calum ★
this weekend, luke has harry over again. they go up to luke's room and eat spaghetti (three weekends in a row, you'd think luke would get tired of it.) then, just like the two weeks before, they start kissing and soon harry is taking off luke's shirt and they are going to the bed.

luke is writhing under harry and calum doesn't want to look because he doesn't want to see luke with any body else. (but luke looks so good.)

calum can tell when luke cums because he screams louder than ever and makes a face that makes calum feel sick. (he also is reminded of the time he spent with luke and how he rarely got him to make that face.)

they haven't talked since calum's birthday. calum thinks maybe it's time for him to find some one, too. but it's just not right. what's right is calum and luke. they're right. luke is hurt, though, and he can't come back yet, calum knows. love is patient.

calum doesn't look back into luke's room for a long time but when he does, he and harry are sort of goodbye making out. calum feels sick to his stomach. luke is alone in his room now, and he looks and calum, smiles and waves.

what a complete bitch. calum sort of hates him right now.

love is patient.

calum rolls his eyes, but still waves back. luke is giving him a faux innocent look and he looks really good. calum doesn't want to think about that.

his face is sort of heating up, he can feel it. luke looks smug now, and calum is pissed off. he storms over to the window and shuts the curtains. he doesn't want to see luke.

calum curls up under his covers and he cries. he cries and cries and cries. last weekend, luke was with harry, the weekend before, luke was with harry, this weekend, he was with harry, but he just won't be with calum. it doesn't make sense to him.

love is patient.

calum is sick and tired of luke throwing himself around. he's hurting himself (and he's hurting calum, too). he's being selfish and rude.

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calum wakes up the next morning after a restless night of sleep. the sunlight is bleeding through the curtains and calum's not used to the dull warmth, since it's usually more intense when it's open.

he gets out of bed and doesn't change his clothes. (why bother?) calum makes his way to the kitchen to eat, although he'd rather starve. he feels miserable.

calum can't help but break down again as he eats his cereal. he's a sobbing mess and he says, "i hate him so fucking much."

he knows he's the one who cheated, but this is worse. luke fucking knows that calum regrets what he did and he fucking knows that calum still loves him. god dammit, luke said himself he still loves calum, too!

calum calls his sister again because he just doesn't know what else to do. "mali he's been seeing a guy for a few weeks now," he tells her frantically.

"i know, he's told me. are you happy for him?" she asks.

"not at all. i want him," he cries.

"love isn't easy, kiddo," mali says. "if it ever works outfit the two of you, it'll hurt an awful lot before it can feel nice again."

"yeah, yeah-love is patient. he'll never have me back, will he? he seems to really like this harry character."

"if he'll have you back, he'll have you back."

calum is almost mad that mali-koa would say that. it seems so obvious and so stupid that he can't understand why she'd waste the time on pointing it out.

but he doesn't get mad, and instead he feels better because where's the lie? calum has a truth. if luke will have him back, then luke will have him back. no matter how long it takes.

love is patient.

· 。* 。· 。* 。·

hii this chapter was so slow to write :') I've lost a lot of motivation and I've been feeling super shitty so that's !!!!!

I don't know why I still even have this story up tbh I get literally 2 votes per chapter PLS vote guys it gives me motivation. even if you hate it just pretend its good and vote.

so yeah give me your feedback and stuff. thanks for reading it actually means a ton ❤️

-M