For She Who Wait For The Passing Time

Sometimes, I wonder if it is alright to spend time with those who are dearest to me. The most precious things to me seem so fragile without me to hold out my hands toward them. They needed me as much as I needed them. But that is why I cannot help but feels uneasy. I care for my family, I care for my sister, Illya, and Miyu, who is like another sister I never had before.

I am happy to live in this world, with this family, at this very moment. But, there are times where I think, maybe I shouldn't have interacted with this world too much after all. I lived on a borrowed time, my expiration is long due and I don't know when it will come to an end. My sisters are too dependent on me, too attached to me. I'm afraid my absence will crumble their wills and perish away. What if I suddenly dropped unexpectedly and leave them by themselves, I cannot bear the image of their sad worried faces break into tears. The more closer I am to their hearts, the more it is going to leave a permanent wound that will never heal.

Perhaps, it will be better if I leave the family and return to my old world, I am sure that asshole will be kind enough to grant me that right. I still have the chance, it's better to leave with a proper goodbye to my sisters than to drop dead out of nowhere.

"But...that will be unfair to them"

They have the right to know, about my true origin, about my fleeting life that could end anytime soon, either in battle or unexpectedly out of nowhere. I rather go out in battle. Besides, it is not like I will die immediately, there will be a small-time left for me to tell my secrets. Perhaps I should write my last will and give it to someone trustworthy just in case?

I walk out to the empty lonely balcony, the cold breeze calm my wild thought to a degree. The stars out, shining without any worries. In a way, I can see my sisters as the stars with me being the pitch-black sky. Without them, I won't be complete, just a plain dull sky. And without me, they can't shine without my support. I always feel calm during the nighttime, it holds so many memories that are important to me. Bad memories, good memories. That is the sad thought that any magus would have after surviving the Holy Grail War.

"When I think back, it is a miracle that I am still alive and kicking"

So many times I could have died, but I still persevere because of my desire to save a person. There's no right or wrong in my decisions, after all, who said that people have the right to judge others right or wrong? But it doesn't mean that they are free to do as they please, if someone do crimes for the right reason, then I just have to stop them for my own right reasoning.

"So, it is safe to say that it is not wrong to interact with this world...right?"

That is why I will bear the depressing thought. No need to make others worry about me. Leaving them is the same as running away from my problem. So, naturally, I will stay and face that problem. Those two need me, though the feelings may not be the same for them, for me, it is the only thing that keeps me going.

"Emilya-nee! Come down! Miyu is here and invited us for dinner at Luvia's mansion!"

I see my sisters in front of the mansion's gate. Illya is waving trying to get my attention while Miyu just smiles silently beside her. That is right, those type of smiles is why I am here, to protect them and make sure they never lose their bright smile. That is why I am here for. So, until then, I will let the flow of the wind guide me as far as it can till my last breath left my body as my time comes to an end.

"Haha! Fine! Fine! I will come to join you girls!"

As I hop off the balcony, with the wind hitting my body violently, I thought to myself.

I cannot afford to worry, for my time is precious and limited. They will all be going to my beloved sisters.