The Rooftop

happy.

"Get the fuck off me"
I screamed and screamed until nothing else was heard but the ringing in my ears. Pain was all I felt; it covered every inch of my body. Hands ravishingly touched and groped my most vulnerable areas. Silence was now the only thing deafening the room.
"Shit guys someone's coming"
Scattered footsteps hurried away, carrying my innocence along with them. I felt stray tears warming my cheeks as I laid on the cold marble floor. My legs felt weak and my stomach was filled with knots. "How am I going to explain this now?" I thought, as I looked at my bruised arms and torso. Along with the now dried tears, I felt a warm stream of blood dripping from my nose. With the energy I had left, I pushed myself up in a sitting position, closing my eyes to numb the pain a bit more.
What the fuck happened? All I remember was going to a party with some friends and now I'm in what seems like a dirty bathroom. After a few minutes of whimpering pain, I wobbled up and leaned against the filthy sink. With the light coming from the small window beside me, I took a good look at myself in the mirror. My hair was tangled up, my neck was covered in different shades of red and purple, and my white blouse was stained with blood. "Jesus fucking Christ Nhi. How did you let this happen to yourself?" I inhaled a deep breath, holding back the tears once again.
Looking back up at myself, I shook my head and reached out to turn on the facet. Cupping some cold water in my shaking hands, I washed my face and removed any noticeable stains on my skin. I continued to straighten my dirty blouse and tucked it back in my sweats. I took one last look at myself before I headed  for the door.
"It's okay Nhi. You're okay. Just say you ran into something"
With a hesitant pull, I walked out of the bathroom and into a crowded room of drunk teenagers. No one stole a glance at me; they were too busy partying away their sadness. Avoiding my friends, I snuck out of the apartment, taking a few cans of beer with me. Slamming the door behind me, I walked away from the booming music. My legs walked and walked until it couldn't anymore. I ended up on top of the apartment building, several floors above the illuminating lights of the buildings and houses below. The blending sounds of cars honking, police cars, and people shouting in the streets was like music to my ears. To get a clearer look of the beautiful Christmas lights hanging, I walked to the edge and sat down. Releasing a much needed breath, I smiled for the first time in awhile.
Tears stung the corners of my eyes, fogging up my glasses a bit. My nails dug into my pockets to fetch a can of beer. I looked down at the cold can in my hands and gripped it with the remaining energy left in my exhausted body. "Fuck it" I said as I opened the can and took a large gulp of the vile liquid. The beer warmed my body and numbed the pain for a moment.
After a few more sips, I was done with my first can and grabbed for a second. My mind was clouded with thoughts and I needed, no, I wanted to forget. I bit my bottom lip, drawing blood with how hard I was biting it. I didn't want to cry anymore. I didn't want to feel. But I failed like always. Tears dropped from my eyes and hit the top of the can. My cold fingers tried to wipe the tears away but it kept on coming.
"Merry fucking Christmas Nhi" I mumbled as my body shuddered from the cold winter air. I was disappointed in myself. How did I let those guys take advantage of me like that? I'm so fucking stupid. I repeatedly slapped my head, almost as if I was punishing myself for what happened. My head was aching, but at least the alcohol was helping.
After finishing my last can, I stood up to take one last good look at the view. Everything felt so peaceful. I was finally at peace. I was finally...happy. Even though I spent my Christmas alone, I was at peace. "I want to remember this feeling forever" I thought, looking down the edge of the building. "If this is what it takes, so be it."
I took in my last breath, my last view, and my last memory. Stumbling near the edge, I smiled. I smiled because this was my happiest memory. Nearing the end of my thoughts, I heard the door behind me creak open.
"Nhi!"
"A-Ang?"
"Nhi, I'm here. I'm always here," she said, gripping my shoulder as she pulled me back.
Who knew such simple words could mean so much. I was right. That night was my happiest memory because I was saved.