Jess and Rory do overs

I cant get started

Rorys Point of View

He stands there nonchalantly and says "I just wanted to" and before I could think myself out of it I reach in and kiss him. Then I feel him wrap his arms around me returning the kiss. I felt my knees weaken. I feel like I could be here forever, wait here...here is sookies wedding who you came with not with the guy your kissing not with Jess but with...I slip out of his arms and he begins to try to say something but before he could I spoke first "Don't say anything" he nods understanding. I feel like air is finally reaching my lungs and brain. I need to catch my breath. I turn back to him and say "I need to take care of something okay?" he gives me another nod with a smirk "Please stay here."

"okay"

I began running away towards the wedding hoping I'm not too late before I run out of ear shot I yell back "Welcome Home"

I make it back standing next to my mom she hands me the bouquet of flowers I have to carry. We didn't exchange words though I knew I should apologize for being late all I could think about was finding Dean. I had to break up with him. I just have to. This isn't fair to him. I can't pretend any longer and I can't drag him through this. God I feel guilty my stomach feels like it dropped or am I hungry? As we settle next to the priest I begin to travel my eyes through the guests. And before I wanted to my eyes met his...Deans...he gives me a smile. I use to love those smiles they use to make me melt like a popsicle on the fourth of July but now they made me feel disgusted at the thought knowing he didn't know what was going to happen after the ceremony. I look down at the bouquet and then back up and now my eyes fell near a tree and standing under it was Jess. His eyes seemed so intense and now I feel my palms sweating and my heart racing. He did stay. I had to do it. I have to end things with Dean.

After the ceremony ended. There I was in the reception trying to shake off my nerves. Maybe I should shug a margarita or something to take off the nerves. Then before I could do anything, here he came. "Hey" he smiles and trys to grab my hands. I pull them away and push back a strand of hair behind my ear.

I tell him "Can we talk? I mean...we need to talk" He looks at me lost and the saddest part was that his eyes looked hopeful."I..."

I didn't know where to start how do people do this. Where do you start breaking somebody's heart? Someone that you once loved and that you know still loves you with all he has. Then I hear him say "Rory?" but it feels so far. It feels so distant.

"We need to break up" I finally am able to let out. My voice sounded squeaky and unclear. He stares at me. I hated when he didn't understand something when I had to explain it.

He finally says "What? Why? Where is this coming from?" I can feel his voice getting higher and angry. And I'm not looking forward to yet another fight.

"I just...this just isn't working Dean. I know you have to feel the same" the truth was that I didn't know how to describe my unhappiness without completely crushing him with the words that I liked someone else.

"I don't understand what I did!"

"you didn't do anything Dean. You were a great first boyfriend the best even. If there was a medal or a gold star you more than deversed it."

"Then? This doesn't make sense Rory. This isn't fair to me!"

"I know it isn't. I know and I'm sorry."

"Just give me another chance. Just give us another try I know we can get through this. It's just a patch in the road" it sounded like desperarion in his voice and the guilt started eating me alive. I turn around because I knew if I looked in his eyes, I'd say yes just to avoid confrontation. Just to avoid hurting him. When my body turns back. I notice in the background people are dancing others are eating and Jess is sitting there on a table reading a book. He looks so peaceful. God he looked so handsome. It filled me with joy that he was still there. I was actually surprised my mother nor Sookie had noticed him and kicked him out. "Rory are you listening to me?" and the truth was. I wasn't. I had stopped listening to his reasoning of getting back together. When he messed up the saying bump in the road.

I looked over at his sad puppy eyes and said "Dean I'm so so sorry. I wish I wanted to give us a second try. Hell I wish I wanted to try. But the truth is I'm not the girl for you. You deserve someone much better than me and your going to find her. I know you will. You will make a girl so so happy. But that girl...that girl isn't me." I felt that with this sentence I had made my opinion clear enough for a clean break. Then he had to respond with "Rory don't you love me anymore?" And I felt like pulling my hair out. Why was he making it so difficult? Were break ups really this hard? I doubt they were easy but I just didn't even know what to say without sounding harsh and before I could stop my mouth from speaking for me.

I say "No Dean I don't love you. I haven't for awhile now." the senstence left a harsh taste in my mouth. I knew it sounded mean. I knew maybe I shouldn't have said it. But he needed to understand that at this moment. I just wanted it done with. I just wanted to spend the last couple of days with Jess and then go to Washington. Why couldn't he just accept it?

"You dont mean that. You don't know what your saying! Is this because of Washington? Because I'll wait for you! Maybe you need space. I can do that Rory!"

"That isn't what I want Dean!"

"Then what do you want?! Just tell me! Danm it!" I felt the tears coming on not from sadness but just from frustration. And then I finally said what was making me feel so guilty I finally came clean to him. Not knowing what it would bring.

"Don't you get it? I don't want you! I cheated on you! I kissed Jess. I kissed Jess and I'm so sorry Dean" but before I could even continue my apology I hear him scoff and say "You kissed him?" his eyes narrow smaller than the whole time we had been having this conversation and I see his stance somehow grow taller and puff out his chest. He begins to walk away. And I think thats it's over. But that's when I notice his hands curld in a fist. Oh no...but before I could run up to even try to stop him. I watch him punch Jess out of his chair. He says "Get up" and as Jess wipes the blood off his lip. He continues with another punch in the eye. "Come on punch me. Or do you think? You've already won?"

Jess finally speaks "I'm not going to fight you Dean." and I couldn't have felt more prouder of Jess to resist the urge of fighting Dean. Though at the moment I felt like Dean completely deserved it. Then Jess continues saying "but yeah I do think I have won if your interested in my feelings. Really I'm flattered." he says sarcastically with a smirk sending Dean to tackle him down and break a table. I finally speak up "Come one guys! Stop!" after a couple of moments my mom and sookie finally notice the commotion and are able to get some workers to separate them. My mother says "I think it's time for you to go Dean" he takes a breath and I think my mother kicking him out of the wedding hurt more than any of the punches Jess tried to defend himself with. My mom then speaks to the guest "Okay people nothing to see here. Other than a couple of cocks fighting. To the festivities!" she smiles. Then she reaches over me. "You better take your estranged lover to the kitchen for some ice." I nod and say "I'm sorry Mom"

"All I can say is Lucy you have lots of explaining to do" she tries to do with her best accent. I noticed throughout the whole wedding my mother's eyes looked sad and my father seem nowhere to be found seemed like my mom had some explaining to do herself. I walk over to Jess and we began heading towards the kitchen in the inn. He sits on a stool and I open the fridge "Peas or steak?"

"a bag of peas sounds much more appealing than steak"

"not to the stomach" I say handing him over the bag.

"Guess you taking care of something meant breaking up with Dean"

"Sorry about the black eye" I say shyly feeling guilty that ever putting him in that position.

"oh God there's a black guy too?" He says sarcastically trying to make a joke. I giggle. And he continues with "you know what would be so much better than these peas?"

"The steak?"

He smirks "Nah. A kiss" he pulls the pea bag off his eye. Ha pea bag. And I lean in to give him a peck but before I could reach his eye. He moves his head up and my kiss lands on his lips. And I couldn't lie it felt good. Much better than the first because this time there was no guilt there was no stopping. I see him flinch and I remember his cut on his lip. I separate "I'm sorry I forgot"

"Its okay. Come here" he says as he stands up pulling me in. And I couldn't help but feel that the scars on his face would heal in time and that we would grow in so many other ways. I felt happy and I hadn't felt happy in a long time.