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tbh, been thinking how it feels like to do "overnight" "date with friends till late night" feels.
I feel like I was deprived the freedom to enjoy those little things.
I also have thoughts like "i didn't fully enjoyed my teenage years" but thinking how well I'm doing with my life now i think it's okay.
I wasn't able to experience those but maybe when I have the money to do so already? But actually having strict policies at home made me embrace the feeling of being alone.
I usually just stay at my room reading, writing and discovering a lot of stuffs I never thought I can do.
As we say, negative things became brighther ones when we look at it at different perspectives.
I guess scenarios like this indeed have its pros and cons. But I am not fully neglecting the idea of having a "bond time" with my friends I still have those thoughts deep within me.
I suddenly became vocal with this because i'll be turning 18 the next months and I haven't tried those yet i feel like I'm losing a lot but at the same time gaining since staying at home made me more productive.
That "staying at home" occurred even before quarantine started. I grew up in a broken family and my grandparents are the ones that took care of me and I do understand the reason why my grandfather is strict.
He wanted me to achieve my dreams and goals in life and he wanted me to reach those which my father failed to do so.
He seeks the feeling of contentment especially that he feels unworthy knowing that the path my father has gone through is not what he wanted him to be, the reason why I've felt like I was chained.
I need to reach and attain certain expectations especially when it comes to my grades but as I said I fully understand those but it doesn't mean that I'm not hurting.
