Collide (Impact Book 2) | h.s. | complete

8. Six Feet Under

~Harry~

"Shit, it feels great to be back." Zayn clapped a hand over my shoulder and squeezed it. We were stationed at a booth surrounded by Eleanor's uni friends and Sophia's snotty socialite acquaintances and it was all leaving me a little sick. Or perhaps the nausea was coming from the countless tequila shots I'd taken.

"Are we going to go dance?" Sophia asked Liam, hooking her arms around his neck and he nodded, glancing at us.

"Yea, let's go," Eleanor tugged Louis' hands and he followed begrudgingly.

"I'm going to stay here, thanks." I said, staring into the bottom of my glass, once holding Crown Royal and Coke, now almost empty.

"Come dance with me," A blonde said, peeking at me through her thick lashes. I glanced toward Sophia who smirked and nodded, winking at me.

"That's alright, you're not my type." I said, watching the girl's face fall. Her cheeked darkened to a deep scarlet before she left in a huff.

"You didn't have to be a dick." Sophia spat, stomping off behind her.

"What the fuck, man." Liam said, his eyes wide. "You never speak to girls like that..."

"That was totally heartless," Gemma said, sucking on her straw, one eyebrow cocked.

"Maybe I no longer have a heart, dear sister." I said, standing to go to the bar. When I got there, I ordered a triple of Jack Daniels on the rocks and surveyed the nightclub. It was busy, packed wall to wall with people, but not one of them was the person I truly wanted to see.

"Pretty gutsy," A voice cooed in my ear and I looked over, a busty brunette who had been introduced to me by El at the beginning of the night was leaning close.

"Can I help you?" I asked, draining my second glass and starting in on the third.

"Feisty tonight..." She said, leaning back on her stool. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot." I said, Zayn catching my eye as he made his way through the crowd towards me, tugging Perrie along behind him.

"Is Tori Melbourne dead or did she really just run away because she couldn't take the pressure?" My mouth fell open at the sound of her name, a name no one had spoken in months. In seconds I was on my feet, my chest rising and falling rapidly. The adrenaline felt good, it overtook the pain and positioned itself at the forefront of every thought in my head.

"Let's go...outside, now." Zayn growled and pulled me away from the girl who was smiling mischievously. Perrie followed, teetering on her high heels. Zayn whisked me away out the back door of the club where Liam, Louis, Gemma, El, Sophia and Niall were waiting. It was slightly drizzly out and the girls huddled together, cold in their short dresses and skirts. "What the fuck is your problem?" Zayn asked, his eyes dark as he spun me around and pushed me into the brick wall along the side of the alley.

"Z, calm down, lets all just go get in the van..." Perrie tried but El reached out and tugged her away from the two of us.

"Hit me." I said, and the entire group froze, their bodies huddled together, Niall standing behind Zayn and in front the others, his stance indicated that he was prepared for anything. "Hit me." I repeated.

"I'm not going to hit you, I-"

"Hit me." I said through gritted teeth. Gemma let out a choked sob, her hand fluttering to her mouth. Perrie reached over, pulling Gem towards her.

"He's insane." Sophia spat, glancing between each of the people surrounding us. "He's fucking lost it."

"Why the fuck, would I hit you?" Zayn asked, his anger increasing by the second. My plan was working.

"HIT ME." I bellowed, pounding my own chest with my fist.

"Go get one of the guards." Liam hissed at Louis who started off down the alley, glancing back once before breaking into a jog.

"Hit me, Zayn, you know you want to." My nostrils flared as I spoke. I took a step towards him, then to the side, my arms out wide, inviting him to hit me. "There is nothing stopping you." Gemma whimpered as I spoke.

"Stop it Harry, you're scaring her." Eleanor shouted.

"How about you, El? You want a go?" I said, smacking my cheek a few times. "You want to hit me?"

"Stop." She said firmly before turning to guide Gemma away.

"I know you all want to do it. Who's gonna take one for the team, hmm?" I felt wild, manic, my blood was pumping hard and fast. I was feeling something other than pure sorrow. And I loved it. I took a step back, my heels hitting the dumpster behind me. "Someone hit me. Make everyone happy and hit me." I looked around at everyone assembled in the rain, which was picking up now. I returned my focus to Zayn as he was my best shot.

"You're drunk, mate." I watched as Niall took a step forward and Zayn attempted to compose himself, taking a deep breath with his eyes closed tightly. I ignored Niall and focused in on Zayn, I was close.

"Zayn." His eyes snapped to mine and I morphed my face into one of pleading. Honesty was my last chance at getting what I wanted. "Please hit me. I..." I closed my eyes as the sadness threatened to take over again. "I need to feel something other than sad and alone." I heard El take a sharp breath as Gemma sobbed on her chest. "Hit me." I said again, "hit-" Before I could say it again, I saw Zayn fly towards me in a blur and I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't feel any pain, instead I heard the deafening crash of a fist meeting metal as three simultaneous screams echoed through the alley. I opened my eyes, shocked, as Zayn leaned towards me, his eyes on mine. Perrie, El and Gemma were huddled together, holding Gem in the middle as she sobbed, while Sophia stood to the side, her arms crossed.

"You want to feel something? Feel this." Zayn said, his hand still resting on the metal dumpster behind me. "As far as I'm concerned, you're mourning the loss of someone you loved. That's fine and that's your choice and you're going to do it the way you want but you will not take the people that I love down with you when you go. Gemma? She's heartbroken watching you go through this. Niall? He's terrified that he's lost his best friend." I glanced at Niall who's eyes were on the pavement at his feet. "The girls? They lost a friend when she left but they also see the pain she's caused for every single person she left behind and they don't know what to do with all of the hurt. Liam is unbearably stressed trying to keep this family together. And me?" he stopped as my gaze slid back to meet his slowly. "I see how much pain you're in and how every second that you breath without her is the hardest thing you've every had to do." I watched as his eyes glistened. "I'm watching my brother, the man who used to be so full of energy and happiness and walked through life without a care in the world, fall into this pit of misery over someone who, quite frankly, doesn't deserve his love if this is how she treats it." I swallowed hard, ready to fight him on that, but he held up a hand. "I'm not finished. As much as you're my brother and I love you to the ends of the fucking universe, I can't let you pull all of the other people that I love and care for through the mud. Let them move on. Let yourself move on." His amber eyes were searching mine. "As far as I'm concerned Victoria Melbourne is dead," A sharp intake of breath sounded from the huddle off to the side and I assumed it was Niall, "and if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be that you should treat her as such. Do what you have to do to mourn her and then get on with your life," My lip trembled and I pressed my tongue into the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. "Because in my opinion, someone who treats you like this deserves to be six feet under."