The God of Mischief and his Goddess

Chapter twenty-seven

A few weeks went by and now I was able to walk small distances in our apartment. But I was far away from going on another mission. Loki went outside with me from time to time and he cared for me all the time. He helped me with everything I wasn't able to do at the moment. I didn't felt weak anymore but I can't explain why I am not able to walk as normally as before the accident. The doctors said that my spine got injured and maybe when I wasn't a goddess I could be paralyzed or dead. Well, I guess I should be lucky. It could be worse than that. This is a good reason to spend most of the time with Loki, my lovely husband. He only left me for a few minutes when Nat was there to visit me. But every time he was near to help me if something goes wrong.

Yesterday I felt so good that I brought back Thor's memories. He was shocked about everything and he was angry that his father did something like this. He was sorry for us. For everything that happened and that we lost our child. Soon after he went with Cap, Nat, and Stark on a mission. They came back an hour ago and Nat visited me directly. They wanted to have a big dinner in the evening but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go there.
"It would be fun and you need to get out of here sometimes," Nat said as she sat down next to me on the sofa. "And the others would like to see you again. Loki you have to tell her that she has to come." Nat said determining turning her face towards Loki. "We will talk about it later," Loki replied. "I see you then," Nat said before she leaves the apartment.

"Tell me, darling. Why don't you wanna go and eat with them?" Loki asked softly as he closed the door behind Nat and walked back to the living room. "I just think I am not ready for it," I replied taking a sip of water. "But you're feeling good. Or do you have pain again?" He asked worriedly as he sat down next to me and grabbed me in a hug. "No. I'm feeling fine. I promise I have no pain. I just don't know if I can handle so many people at once. When there are too many feelings and thoughts, it could be hard for me." I said and cuddled myself closer towards Loki. "We can give it a try and if this is too much for you we can go back." He replied with a smile on his face. "Okay, we will try," I said as we stood up to wear something different for dinner.

We entered the elevator and walked to the dining room. Everyone was already waiting and Nat was happy that I came to dinner. I sat down on a chair and Loki sat down directly next to me as everyone welcomed us. "Are you feeling fine?" Loki whispered in my ear and I nodded as a reply. We talked for a while before the dinner was brought in. Pepper entered the room and take a seat next to Stark. "I'm sorry for being late. I took some more time at the doctor." Pepper explained herself.

Everyone was happy to hear some news about the baby, except for me and Loki. Loki just ignored everything she told us. But I heard every word she said. Every detail she shared about her happy feelings to hear that the baby is okay and that the baby will come in 3 months. Everyone was eating and listening to Pepper and Stark about how happy they are. And I just sat there completely frozen. Not able to do or say anything. I could feel how happy everyone was for them. But to see them so happy together, with their unborn child breaks my heart. Every moment Loki and I had with the great news about our baby and every moment since I lost it. Everything I tried to forget came back within seconds.

"I have to go now," I said to Nat and Loki as I stand up. Loki followed me directly, he had no clue why I wanted to go but he doesn't want to leave me alone. Nat looked at me confused and sad. "Where are you going? The desert is coming soon," Stark said as I wanted to leave. "I am full," I replied as everyone looked at my plate. I didn't eat anything of it. The complete food was still on the plate, exactly like it was brought to us. "You hadn't eaten anything. Are you alright?" Thor asked worriedly. I nodded and hold myself tight at Loki's arm. I tried to fight the tears as I replied. "I am just a bit overwhelmed with all of your feelings right now. I am tired and it would be best for me if I go to sleep now." Everyone said goodbye and we walked towards the elevator but Nat followed us.

"What's wrong?" Nat asked worriedly. "I just couldn't handle that anymore," I replied as my eyes slowly filled with tears. "What is it? Are there too many people?" Nat kept on asking. I hold Loki's arm now even tighter. "I couldn't handle it anymore that Pepper and Stark are so happy. It is too much for me." I replied sadly. "But why? They're lucky about their baby." Nat asked confused. I sighed still trying not to burst out in tears. "Around 90 years ago, before I erased our memories... I was pregnant. But the guards tortured me and I lost our baby. I know it since the accident and it is still hurting me to see others became pregnant and be a family. But believe me, I am happy for them. I just need some time to get over it." I replied as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I didn't know that. I am so sorry for you two. I am there for you both." Nat said as she placed her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. But I want to go to our apartment now." I replied as we walked back to the elevator and went to our apartment. Nat walked back into the dining room. "How's she?" Thor asked Nat as she sat down again. "Not good. You know about their loss?" Nat whispered towards Thor so that no one would notice. "You mean their baby?" Thor asked and everyone was looking at him. Nat shook her head and said angrily, "it was supposed to be a conversation between us and now everyone had heard this." Thor looked around and noticed that everyone was looking at him waiting for some explanations. "What baby are you two talking about?" Stark asked suspiciously. "Obviously not yours." Cap interrupted.

"About the baby Loki and..." Thor replied as Nat interrupted him with a kick under the table. "Spirit and Loki becoming parents too? That is great." Stark said smiling. "No, they were becoming parents before she erased our memories but she lost the baby." Thor continued not thinking about what he was telling them right now. "Didn't you think that this was supposed to be something they would have to tell everyone when they were ready for it?" Nat asked angrily. This was the first time Thor started thinking about everything he said in the last minutes. "Was that the reason why she wanted to go? Was it too much for her because of the baby Stark and Pepper will have soon?" Cap asked politely and Nat nodded in reply. Everyone looked in disbelief. "How did she lost it?" Pepper asked worriedly. "I don't know it by now. That was something I wanted to ask Thor before he shouted everything out loud." Nat replied. Thor looked and thought about it for a few minutes. "I don't know it for sure. But I guess that she lost the baby because she was tortured when she was in prison back then." Thor replied and they talked about it for a while longer. Before everyone was heading back to their apartments.