Broken Hearted Girl

I Want My Mom!

April 3, 2004 ....

I was at Children Services with a strange lady who seemed nice. She bought me something to eat and drink while she makes a few phone calls. She was on the phone with a family, she thought would take me in even though, it's late at night.

They seemed to be hesitant about it because my caseworker was getting frustrated while explaining the situation I was in. I was hoping they would've let me in while I was eating my food.

The caseworker got off the phone and looked at me with a smile and with pity in her eyes. I smiled back at her even though, I was hurt. I miss my mom and I know she loves me but she loves her boyfriends more than me and that sucks.

"We found you a good home, Avani. Are you excited?" She said, while looking at me. I looked at her and looked back down at my food. I didn't want to be in another foster home. I wanted to be with my mom. I finished eating my sandwich and wiped my hands on a paper.

"No, ma'am." I said, looking at her with fresh tears building up.

"Why? What's wrong, baby?"

"I miss my mommy. I want my mommy." I pleaded with tears streaming down my face. She looked at me with pity and came over to me and gave me a hug. Why didn't she want me? Why did she not love me more than she loved Tommy? Why did she have to give me away like I'm some type of trash? Did I not mean anything to her? Was I good enough for her?

"It's okay, sweetie. Everything is going to be just fine. Stop crying." She said, stroking my hair. I didn't believe her words because things weren't okay. I shouldn't be 5 years old going to house to house. I shouldn't have lost a piece of me that should've been cherished. I hate to feel this way about my mom but I hate her. I hate the pain she caused me without even knowing. But thank God for blessing me with this family that I'm about to enter.