I Should Have Never Kissed You (Lilo/Nouis/Zarry)

I Had To.

I see people like my last chapter! I'm glad guys!!! Thank you! So, nothing really to say just enjoy!!! THIS IS DEDICATED TO @RainbowSnake

Louis's POV 

"H-Hi?" I say it more like a question than an actual greeting, but what can I say? He's an inch taller than me, and even though I'm stronger I can't bring myself to stand up to Liam. He's Liam. A fucking sex god at that. Liam 'fucking sex god' Payne. Yeah, I like that. I wish I could actually do something with him...... 

"Hello? Back to fucking earth William." Liam snaps rolling his eyes in the process. Damn. What happened to the puppy-eyed, spoonaphobic, turtle obsessed, Toy Story Fanatic, and Batman crazied Liam James Payne that I used to know? Shit, I remember the days. 

"Sorry..." I say in a small voice, cowering down from him. I really miss him. Fuck, why did I have to screw everything up! I always screw everything up. 

"Erm. Tommo, come over here mate!" Niall yells from across the room, sitting down very carefully with three plates of food stacked on top of one another. 

THANK YOU JESUS FOR ME HAVING NIALL JAMES FLUFFING HORAN!!! "Umm...coming Niall." I smile weakly at Liam without making eye contact and fast walking over to Niall on the sofa.

Man, this sofa is soft, so soft, so fucking soft, its like a babies ass. I snuggle deeper into this black leather sofa and swing my legs onto Niall's lap accidently hitting his trouser snake. (A/N Trouser snake means his ya know.....a lads lower hemisphere.) 

"Uff! Bloody hell Louis, with that hit, I might not have children!" He chuckles, making me giggle. I look up and see Liam glaring at us from where he's leaning on the side of the mic booth. I look down fast to show I had no fear, but I hear him chuckle evilly. Dammit, I need to stop looking like a bllody coward, or Liam's gonna be like this for the rest of our lives. Huh, if he actually wants to be friends with me that whole time I'm alive.  

"Hello boys, nice to see you again. Let's get started on what we were working on before." Uncle Si says sitting down in front of the tech board thingy, I smile at him and he smiles back with a thumbs up. Everyone thinks he's a big mean and horrible person, but he's not. He's as fluffy as fluffy can get! He's like the Unicorn that Angus holds in Despicable Me. NOW THAT IS FLUFFY!!! 

We all get into the booth and get comfortable in our seats. I'm sat next to Niall who's on my left, Harry on my right and Zayn on his right and Liam on Nialls left. 

"We'll do Little Things, alright lads." Uncle Si says and we nod in agreement, then Niall has his guitar and he starts to play. 

Zayn started off, I miss his beauitful voice. I wish I had it....

Your hand fits in mine

Like its made just for me

But bear this in mind 

It was meant to be 

And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks

And it all makes sense to me. 

Niall kept playing and I closed my eyes to hold back the tears, Liams part was up and it was gonna kill me. 

I know you never loved 

The crinkles by your eyes

When you smile 

You've never loved 

Your stomach or your thighs 

The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spin 

But I'll love them endlessy 

Liam and Zayn synchronized beauitfully on the chorus:

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth 

But if I do 

It's you 

Oh, its you they add up to

I'm in love with you

And all these little things 

Niall strums a couple of other notes and the tears well up and I can't. I look up and everyone is looking at me and I try to sing, but I can't nothings coming out. 

The tears start to shed and I jump out of my chair throwing the mic stand down and run out of the studio and to the nearest janitors closet. Lucky for me it was right next to our studio. I opened the door and close it quickly locking it and sliding down the door. 

Why do I fuck everything up? Hmmm? Why did I have to go and kiss him? Why do I have to fucking like him!?!!??!?! He hates me! He hates all of my being. He's said it! He's called me every single word I know. And you know what! It's true I am a 'fag' and a 'disgusting pig' I shouldn't be in this band because I'm so screwed up in the head and I hate myself for being the way I am, for who I am! All those years of being called names, and being abused, from being abused all those years I can't take all this BULLSHIT! I'm the fucking problem and I just need to be forgotten, cause the love of my life already has.......

I didn't realize that I was sobbing and pulling my hair till I felt pain and wet spots on my trackies. I hate crying almost every night because of my imperfections, because of being such a wanker, a loser, a coward, of being gay.

I could hear banging on the door, I hear only three very familiar voices; Zayn, Harry and Niall. Where's Liam? Why doesn't he care for me? Why doesn't he love me like before the kiss? Why can't he see I'm still human? That I still have feelings and I still want to be loved to! That I need love! Why does he hate me so much?

All of those times we've sat down and watched all the Toy Story's, laughed, goofed off, had popcorn fights , even chocolate fights, we just had the best time of our lives. I loved those move days, I love him. Why the fuck do I have to love Liam James Payne.

I look up and I narrow my eyes on something on a shelf in front of me and I get up slowly and grab it. 

It's a knife. 

I breath slowly and sit down on a different wall and look at the knife, flicking it out of its slot and pulled up my sleeve. 

My head is pounding and my heart is heavy in my chest. I have to, this is the only way. The only way I can show how I feel to let out the emotion. 

'Your ugly.'

'Your a fag.'

'No one will ever love you.' 

'He hates you cause you screwed up.'

'Fucking do it you coward.'

'You don't deserve this fame'

I put the knife on my wrist, putting pressure and slid it across....... 

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Heeeyyyyyyyy sseexxxyyyyy awkk turtles! I know this chapter sucks, I'm sorry. I've got a bit of writers block! Well! Next chapter its gonna be ZAAAARRYYY!! And my best friend @RainbowSnake is gonna be a beard of Zayn Malik! Yup! So if another person wants to be a beard, message me!