Do you, now?

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For coming to the class, 

and meeting the infamous you.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For talking to you,  

and introducing myself.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For being silent,  

and bearing all the teasing.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For the year that passed away,  

before either of us noticed.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For finally standing up for myself, 

before you even uttered a word about me.

Do you want to know?  

How much I hate myself? 

For softening up to you, 

As we were termed  'friends'.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For having crush on you, 

Because of the spells of charms you cast.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For falling in love, 

with a jerk like you.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For spilling the juice on you and you said 'it's fine' with a smile, 

Which made me fall even more.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For blushing,  

As you pulled my cheeks several times.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For allowing you, 

To take that walk with me; alone.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For confessing, 

My vulnerable feelings to you.

Do you want to know?  

How much I hate myself? 

For letting your rejection effect me  

And letting those tears fall.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For holding onto you 

And not moving on.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For understanding you

And talking to you about it.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself? 

For letting your ignorance, 

Make me numb.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself?  

For hoping, 

You would come back running.

Do you want to know? 

How much I hate myself?  

For telling everyone I moved on, 

While I was considering to commit suicide.

Do you want to know? How much I hate myself? 

For talking to you tonight after months 

And getting lost in your deep voice.

Do you want to know?  

How much I hate myself? 

Of course, you don't! Anyhow, listen!

Everyday I wake up,  

With disgust wondering what the other girls did to deserve you when I don't.

You have no idea,  

How much I hate myself for falling in love with you, mister. 

. . . . . . . 

Yes, AK47. (No I'm not talking about the gun, a name which annoys him the most is AK47! There's a doubling meaning to it) I'm very much in love with you even after you rejected and ignored me. No matter how much I try to forget you, everything reminds me of you. Your favorite actors, actresses. Our best friends. Our favorite books which I own but you tore. Our classes together. I wrote your notes for you. I would smile at you for encouragement as the teacher scolded you. You would look into my eyes while speaking to all my friends, how it made me blush. But at the end, I still hate you for casting a spell on me even though I love you way too much to hate you.