the Dark

Chapter 6 I LOVE YOU

Bucky. He is standing right in front of me. His arms on my hips. Our face is only a few centimeters separated. I forget how to breathe or a moment. I feel his warm breath on my skin. And I didn't want to end this moment but I knew I had to. So I take his hands off my hips. "Thank you, Buck" he smiles. "What are you doing here so early?" He starts helping me picking up the rest of the punching bag. "I needed to think" "About me?" he looks up and smirks. His face, his smile, his eyes his everything. God I can't tell you how much I missed him. But I'm still mad at him. "Maybe" I say this without any emotions and pick up the rest of the punching bag. "Y/N I think we have to talk." he takes my hand. I look down. I didn't want to talk I don't even know what I want. All the anger I kept for the last year is coming up. I know when I say something now it's going to hurt him and me. I free my hand out of his and are about to leave the room. "Y/N please. I love you." I freeze. To you hear that makes me the happiest woman in the world. I should turn around run to him and kiss him. Forgive him for what he has done. But I can't. "If you do then why did you leave me! I spend one year without you! I thought you mide be dead I didn't know anything! You left me alone! BUT YOU KNEW WHAT THEY DID TO ME AND EVERY SECOND ALL I WANTED IS TO BE WITH YOU BUT YOU YUST LEFT! THE MAN I LOVED IS GONE. He left with you" all the anger comes up. But at the moment I say these words I regretted. I see the pain in his eyes. I can feel how much I hurt him and how much he hurts himself with leaving me. I don't have the right to say this to him. My voice breaks and I only whisper "I wish I we never meet" then I turn around and walk away. Tears are running down my face. but I ignore it. ignore everyone and everything. Sam and Steve are crossing my way. Bucky screaming my name and tell me to wait. Just everything.