Mind-Broken

The Room with the Fairies

           Four walls. It took a room with four walls to ultimately change my life. The walls had fairies that were hand-painted on by some artist that clearly was talented enough to do it. The fairies looked happy and heavenly, but at night when the lights were off. All you could see were their white bright eyes staring you down. Of course that would be scary to any child. I had to be around eight or ten years old. I can't really remember what age I was. It's almost as if my early childhood years blur together. Sure, I have memories of my childhood, but unless I was in school and I could remember what grade I was in. I don't really remember how old I was when everything took place. Bare with me. I will explain everything but I cannot just dive into everything. I need to give some back ground. 

         My memory had always been known to be very good. Whether I am in the kitchen with my family reminiscing about the past. I always seem to bring up the exact details of that event. For example, there was a time when we began talking about me getting stung on the nose by a bee. My dad began to talk about how he remembered my nose having a small bee bite on the tip. I began to talk about the day as it was just yesterday. The day started with us getting the kids together to go to Kitty Land. Now, that used to be my shit when I was younger. I loved the rides and how pink everything was. We went to pick up my cousin. Now, this bitch was my go too. I mean we were unstoppable. Everyone has their go to cousin. The one you wait for when you are a family party. The one you see and you think to yourself, "Thank god, I almost killed myself waiting for you". Vicky was her name. Vicky and I had always been together. We were only born a month apart and we were destined to be close whether we liked it or not. She was the person who was supposed to be there regardless of the time, place, or situation. Anyways, we drive to Vicky's house and we pick her up and we begin our journey to Kitty Land. In the front of the car was my mom, Norma, and my dad, Mateo. We drove a silver Nisan mini van. This was a huge mini van. In the middle row was my sister, Alyssa, and my other cousin, Amanda. Alyssa and Amanda were four years older than Vicky and I. They were only a couple of weeks apart. So it was pretty perfect, except my sister did not really like Amanda. No one really did. She was always causing a scene and God forbid if things did not go her way or if the attention was not on her. Thats the kind of person she was. In the back it was Vicky and I. We were probably talking about some type of chisme or mad at each other because we said something rude or mean. But those fights were always resolved by the time we had reached our destination. 

          We pulled into the parking lot of the Kitty Land and everyone got down and we began the journey of traveling Kitty Land. Now it was always me and Vicky and she was my partner for pretty much anything. I didn't even bother paying attention to anyone else cuz all I needed was my partner in crime. We got on the teacups and the small pink roller coaster for kids. I was enjoying myself and Vicky was enjoying herself. That was until I saw this bee bussing around me. I saw the bee. I was aware that the bee was surrounding me getting ready to attack. Yet, my curiosity allowed it to land right on the tip of my nose and sting me. I began crying and I ran to my dad, pointing to my nose and trying to explain what happen through the small breaths I was taking through the tears. I checked for a stinger and didn't see it and told me I would be okay. In my head I was like, "That's it? That's all I get? There's no ambulance? No dire surgery?" That's when I realized maybe I was being a pussy. We wrapped up the day shortly after that and headed home. When we pulled into the front street of Vicky's house, we tried to convince her to let Vicky spend the night. That didn't go well. Her mom would get mad and immediately say no. That was a regular occurrence for us. Vicky would piss her mom off and her mom would be petty back. We dropped her off and we headed on home. On the way home, I pulled a, "I am going to pretend I am sleeping so my dad has to carry me down". He carried me down and laid me down in my room. Now my room was pretty big, but it had to be. I shared with my sister and my brother. My brother had his own room but he was always too scared to sleep alone so he would sleep with my sister and I. He laid me down and when he closed the door, I hopped right out of bed and went to look at my nose in the mirror. It was gone. There was no mark. I was confused and thanked God that I did not make a huge scene. 

         That is just an example of how good I can remember events in my life. So when I tell you that I remember when Amanda used to make me touch her. I remember. I remember pretty vividly. The first time it happen. I was in my room. The room with fairies on the wall. The room with an innocent with bed set, but what took place that first time. Was the last time I was innocent.