Ever Since New York // H.S. - ON HOLD

CHAPTER 34 - SLOW HANDS

I'm baaacckkk...

. . .

Harry and I drive carelessly down the freeway, his cool, ring-clad hand intertwined with mine as they rest on top of my thigh. After the frantic phone call with Emma and Ginny, I swallowed my stirring mom-guilt as Harry and I gathered our things to say our goodbyes to his friends.

"I'm really glad I came." I speak my thoughts aloud as I turn my attention from the passing trees to Harry in the driver's seat.

"Yeah?" He glances sideways at me, his lips forming a small smirk. Humming in response, I shut my eyes for a moment to take in the blissfulness of the peace..

I had a few drinks—thanks to H—so the traces of alcohol are easing my mind, creating a barrier from my typical chaotic thoughts.

"I'm really glad you came, too." Harry's soft voice breaks through the wavering silence as my eyes flutter open. Meeting his emerald irises in the red shadows of the stoplight, my heart skips a beat. "I'm really proud of you. You're so much stronger than I think you will ever realize."

Flashing me a dimpled smile before turning his focus back to the road as the light turns green, I feel a pang in my chest. My heart beats out of time, ejecting electricity through my body, turning all of my organs to mush from his words. Leaning over the center console, I use my free hand to grasp onto his jaw, turning his head toward me slightly as I plant a gentle kiss of appreciation to the corner of his mouth.

Settling back into my seat, I realize we passed the exit to his house.

"Where are we going?" I question, having no idea where he is taking us.

"Nowhere in particular, just driving." He squeezes my hand before releasing it and resting his hand on the inside of my thigh, beginning to trace small, lazy shapes into the material of my jeans.

"Oh..." He begins to hum along to a song in his head as he continues to dance his fingers mindlessly up and down my leg. The foreign, yet distantly familiar heat begins to build in the pit of my stomach, radiating past my hips, causing a wave of goosebumps to prick my skin.

"Lisa, you need to help me." I huff, covering my face in my hands as I feel like a high school virgin gossiping to her friends.

"Evelyn, you're old enough to know that sexual desires are not something to be ashamed of. Especially given your past." She half-chuckles as she tries to remain professional despite my embarrassed nature.

"I know! I just haven't felt these...things...in a very long time, okay! I'm trying to process it." I slump back on the sofa, looking up the ceiling as I try to piece together my thoughts. "Obviously, now that I am in a relationship, sex is going to be on the table eventually. I just don't know how to go about it."

"Allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. Embrace it just like you would with your anxiety or discomfort. You have every right to explore your desires, especially with your perfect hunk of a man."

"Lisa!" I scold her, my jaw going slack.

"Alright, alright. I'm just saying that this is the first time since I have met you that you have expressed even the desire to partake in anything sexual. And that is a huge step for you! I think if you are able to feel comfortable with Harry to talk about your wants and needs in that regard, then you'll be able to heal even more. What Peter did to you is not how sex should be, and I think you know that, but your mind and body need the reminder."