Him (Mike Ehrmantraut/Reader)

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(This is a songfic, based on the tune "Him" by Rupert Holmes. Give it a listen, it's great!)

Mike knew something was up. Being as astute as he was, he knew it all too well, despite how much he wanted to deny what he was seeing. Truthfully, sometimes being shrewd in nature was more of a curse than a blessing.

The item was simple in nature, innocent enough without the proper context. A colorful necktie (a rather tacky one, at least to Mike's eye) lay discarded in a heap in the corner of your room. Unless your fashion sense had undergone a radical change overnight, it certainly didn't belong to you, the woman he had grown quite fond of. He knew it belonged to him.


Over by the window, there's a pack of cigarettes
Not my brand you understand
Sometimes the girl forgets
She forgets to hide them
I know who left those smokes behind

You strolled into the room, nonchalantly smiling at the gruff older man. Unaware of his sullen mood, you wrapped your arms around him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He remained silent, eyes cast in the corner of your room. Oh.

"Mike...", you frowned, stepping away, "It's not what it looks like. He just wanted to talk, really."

"He just wanted to talk, Y/N?", Mike's eyes met yours, "In your bedroom? At night? Without his clothes?"

"It was just a fling.", you sighed, "This isn't going to be an issue, is it?"

"No." the man knew he didn't mean what he said. Truthfully, he had grown attached to you during the course of your working relationship. You were friendly enough to him, and yet, you still went for that skeevy lawyer. He wasn't quite sure where the two of you stood when one Saul Goodman was involved.

Perhaps Mr. Ehrmantraut should have known better. He should've seen it the first time you accompanied him to the conman's office. Naturally, the sleazy guy had applied his usual amounts of charm (as he did to all of his female acquaintances), but somehow, you, an intelligent woman, fell for it. He should've seen it in the way you looked at him, how you always came to his defense. Sure, he didn't blame Saul any, as he too had fallen for your subtle charms, but why him?

Next thing he knew, you were a changed woman. Smiling, upbeat... it wasn't immediately clear, for Mike's days of romantic-fervor-induced delight were long gone. You two would be out on the job, driving around, when suddenly you'd get a call and your evening plans were abandoned in favor of something then left unclear. There were other changes, too, as you dressed more seductively and devoted an unusual amount of time to your appearance, perhaps only serving to garner more of Mike's attention than intended.
He recalled the first incident quite clearly, as it often replayed in his mind as he lay alone at night. It took place the day after one of those giggly, blushing phone calls. He hadn't thought much of it, other than finding it rather adorable (something his stoicism would never allow him to express, of course).

Of all the things he had seen and done, somehow the thought of Saul using you for one sole purpose burned through his soul with an intense rage. Sure, the guy had annoyed him since the days of 'Jimmy at the parking garage', but this was something more. This feeling was induced by more than just male bravado, it was something deeper. Mike was in love with you.

She'll say, oh he's just a friend
And I'll say, oh, I'm not blind to
Him, him, him
What's she gonna do about him?
She's gonna have to do without him
Or do without me, me, me
No one gets to get it for free
It's me or it's him

You picked up the forgotten tie and strolled after a now-silent Mike. Truthfully, you had gotten an idea that he liked you in a more-than-friendly way, but he was different from Saul. While your relationship with the lawyer certainly wasn't exactly big on emotions, he was a handsome guy and he let you know how he felt. At his age, Mike probably didn't want to enter into a new relationship. He kept quiet about his personal life, which you respected, but it didn't make for an entirely deep bond outside of work-related doings since he had taken you on as an assistant of sorts for his many endeavors.

Despite the awkward silence, you slid into the passenger seat of Mike's car, knowing there was work to be done. You figured you could drop the tie off later. For now, you fidgeted nervously with the silky strip of vibrant fabric, smiling as you recalled undoing it on Saul last night. Nonetheless, a pang of regret hit your chest. You did have a definite fondness for Mr. Goodman, but you had loved Mike for quite some time, never quite mustering up the courage to let him know aside from some harmless, casual flirting from time to time.

Don't know why, she thought that I
Would say what's mine is his

Mike remained quiet as he drove to his first pickup of the day, not unusual for himself. Despite his calm outwardly appearance, his head was racing with thoughts. He knew he should have told you how he felt, yet he had grown inexperienced with relationships following his departure from his wife. Perhaps he had some remaining inhibitions from that relationship, well over two decades ago. It wasn't typical for him to develop feelings, and yet, there was something he couldn't resist about you. But perhaps he couldn't live up to your standards. Being a young woman, he knew he would be unable to control you. Perhaps he had wrongfully, and quite painfully, assumed the two of you were closer than the truth. All he could be certain of was that he wanted Saul out of the matter. "The heart wants what it wants" be damned.

I don't want to own her
But I can't let her have it both ways
Three is one too many of us
She leaves with me, or stays with
Him, him, him

Nonetheless, he sucked in a deep breath to settle his nerves, pulling the car off briefly to the side of the road. You looked over, this change jarring you from your mindless playing with the tie.

"I'm sure he's missing that tie.", Mick pointed at the neckwear, "We can stop by his office, if you'd like to drop it off."

He knew he was too old to be acting like a jealous guy over your decisions. It was only fair. You could be with Saul if you wanted, as much as it would pain him, but who was he to think he'd even have a chance with a pretty woman many years his junior? You two would resume your professional relationship, and nothing more. No more stares or boundaries to be crossed or lingering touches.

If she wants to, she can have him
Just exactly how we once were
It's goodbye to you and I

You simply smiled knowingly, a stark contrast to Mike's emotionless visage. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, rather startling the older man.

"He'll have to be fine without it, I don't really want to see him.", you frowned, "This morning, actually... we had a bit of a fight, right before you stopped by. I'm tired of just one-night stands. I want something more. I'm tired of being used."

You turned away, blushing. You weren't used to speaking on such personal matters with Mike. Nonetheless, the words kept flowing, your eyes dampening with tears.

"I'm sorry, I've said too much. It's nothing you need to be worried about. We're just... ending what we had, if you can even call it anything."

"Y/N...", Mike spoke softly, in a tone you had only heard reserved for his daughter-in-law and grandchild, "You deserved better. Good for you."

"Thanks.", you sniffled, moving forth to lean on Mike's shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

He put an arm around you, smiling to himself.

"I've... always liked you, Mike.", you admitted at long last, feeling safe and comfortable already in his arms, unlike anything you had ever felt before, "I just never thought you'd like me back."

"Are you kidding me?", Mike suppressed a laugh of disbelief, "Y/N, you're beautiful. I should be the one doubting your affections."

"Awww...", you blushed at his kind words, "I love you, Mike."

"I love you, too, Y/N." he kissed you tenderly.

"There's just one thing left to do." you snickered, returning to your seat and dropping the gaudy tie out of the car window, looking at your new lover for approval. He smiled and gave a half-shrug before running the necktie clean over. You two shared a laugh as you drove off to your next job, beaming with happiness from many words left unsaid. And so began your love affair with Mr. Ehrmantraut, the best man you had ever had the privilege of meeting, just the two of you and nobody else.

Back to her and I without
Him, him, him
What's she gonna do about him
She's gonna have to do without him
Or do without me, me, me
No one gets to get it for free
Time for me to make the girl see
It's me or it's him, him, him
What's she gonna do about him
She's gonna have to do without him
Or do without me, me, me

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