Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

So Much For My Happy Ending Part Two

A/N- Trigger warning, there's some mention of cutting in this part :(

I take my medicine everyday and my parents are amazed, it's the most stable I've been in a long time. I keep my phone on me constantly, hoping and waiting for Cameron to text me, call me, anything. But he doesn't and I sort of knew he wouldn't. But still, I can't help but hope.

The days go by with no communication and every day my heart breaks a little bit more. I'm fully aware now that he used me, that I let myself be used but I don't regret it. I would do everything the same exact way, well I'd probably make my move sooner so I could have more time with him.

I don't tell Matthew about what I did with Cameron. No one knows. Just me and him, I keep it our little secret. It's weird that it makes me feel closer to him.

I cuddle with Matthew in my bed, I have my head resting on his chest. We're not romantically involved at all but we still feel comfortable enough to cuddle, to provide each other with close, intimate touches because we need it. Matthew is also dealing with unrequited love. He loves this kid called Carter, he lives in the neighborhood but Matthew is too scared to approach him. I've tried to encourage him to make the move but he'd rather leave it as a possibility than know concretely that Carter doesn't want him. He's dating this girl Maggie, she lives in our neighborhood too. She's a stuck up bitch. I hate her. She was always mean to anyone who wasn't part of her squad. But that doesn't matter anymore, we're no longer in high school.

I have an appointment with my new psychiatrist today, I'm nervous to meet him. I'm scared that he'll switch my medications back to the ones I was taking before. I know I'm crazy, but I also know I'm better with the medications I'm taking. I'm still impulsive but not to the extent that I was before, I would never consider throwing myself out of a moving car and jumping over the railing of the bridge to jump off.

I look at that person and I wonder what the hell was I thinking. Well, I guess I wasn't thinking. In the end, I'm grateful to my parents, I let them know this, because their decision to put me in the psych ward quite literally saved my life.

"I'm glad you're back," Matthew whispers and wraps his arms around me tightly. I nod because I can't bring myself to say it out loud. I'm not glad to be back, I want to be in Belmont with Cameron. Honestly, if I knew he was going to be this way I would have acted out and forced them to keep me. I was so stupid to believe that I could convince Cameron to see me outside of Belmont. I was too naive, I thought he might actually call me or text me. Anything. But there's complete silence from him.

I know why he didn't give me his number, he knows I would have spammed it. I would have texted him and called him and said inappropriate things until he cracks and lets me see him.

I don't tell Matthew about my appointment, I just tell him that I have plans for the afternoon, he doesn't ask any questions.

I drop off Matt at his house and then drive myself to the appointment, my parents trust me a lot more now. They bought me a car soon after I was released from Belmont, I guess they just wanted to reward me for good behavior. I'm not complaining, having my own car gives me so much freedom. I'm actually going to start classes at the local community college in the fall, they're proud of me.

I arrive at the doctor's office and give my name to the receptionist, I don't have to wait long before I'm led into the room. There's a couch, there's always a couch, and I sit down. My eyes move around the office, he has pictures hanging on the wall and on his desk. One picture catches my eye and makes my heart pound faster. It's of him and Cameron, it looks like a graduation picture. I stand up and walk over to the picture, it's hanging on the wall. They have their arms wrapped around each other, are they friends? Lovers? I try to breathe deeply in order to calm myself but I can't stop the thoughts that start racing through my mind.