Sid the Sloth and the Glorious Glock

Sid and His HOT Glock

 One day, Sid the Sexy Sloth was digging in the cold snow. He came a crossed a large, hard, black object. He smirked, wiggling his eyebrow profusely. He dug in the snow, slowly and seductively. He reached down, once again, slowly and seductively and picked up the large, hard, black object. It was a glock. But not just any glock. A GLORIOUS glock.

 Sid was confused at first. But soon enough, he reached his sexy little hand down and loaded the gun.  He hesitated at first, but then, pulled the trigger and was immediately turned on.  Sid knew he had power. He decided to use that to his advantage. 

The dinosaurs roamed the land. Terrorizing everyone. Sid knew that there needed to be something done about this. Sid pulled out his big, hard, black glock and shot the first dinosaur. The dinosaur was innocent. He had a wife and kids. He was vegan. He never hurt another creature. Sid the Sloth felt a sudden rush of power. The feeling the glock gave him when he pulled the trigger was a feeling no woman could ever give him. He held the glock to his face. The glock gave him pleasure. He pulled the trigger. again and again. 

Soon enough, he wiped out all the dinosaurs. His thirst for the gun was satisfied. There was nothing left in sight. Sid realized that he was the reason for the dinosaurs extinction. Not an asteroid, not climate change, Sid the Sloth and the glock. The mammoths tried to comfort him but lord and behold, Sid got horny for the gun once again. PLOT TWIST! HE WHIPPED OUT THE MAMMOTHS TOO!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOBODY SAW THAT COMING! The mammoths were all extinct. 

Sid had no friends. He had killed everything. He was the only thing left. He was satisfied but not for long. He had nobody to use his glock on. Besides... himself. He felt the sensation he felt in his tummy every time the glock turned him on. He held the gun to his head and pulled the trigger....

SIKE!!!! YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT SID THE HOT, SEXY SLOTH COULD DIE?!?!?!?! YOU IDIOT! YOU THOUGHT! HE IS IMMORTAL! And that is the story about how Sid the Sloth used his hot and sexy glock to wipe out the dinosaurs and the mammoths and learned how to use the large, hard, black glock on himself. Thank you.

THE END