nothing is forever, and forever is nothing.

chp1

gerard was sat, alone, in his bedroom once again. the darkness that surrounded him was interrupted only by the occasional stroke of lightening that forced its way into the room. the rain outside clung to the windows, like the tears on his cheeks. a soft melody was playing from the record player situated in the corner of gerards room, allowing his thoughts to be distracted, if only for a few minutes a time.

the music soon came to a stop, the only sound remaining in the room being the gentle ticks of a clock and the soft pitter patters of the rain. gerard got up, walking over to his desk and sitting down as he turned on his small lamp, retrieving his special black notebook and a pen. he opened it to a new, fresh, clean page, and let all of his thoughts, all his feelings, every little thing that ran through his head, spill onto the page. he was instantly calmed, the familiarity of all this really helped.

once the boy had finished, he stuffed everything back into the drawer it came from and he got into bed, well, a mattress, on the floor, and fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

*

he woke up in the morning tired as shit. it was probably his fault for having so many late nights, but it still didn't put him in a good mood. after contemplating whether or not he should go back to sleep, he groaned and sat up, wiping the drool from his mouth and squinting in the 7am sun coming from his windows.

he walked across the bare floorboards to his suitcase, situated on the other side of the room. it was the only thing in there besides the table, mattress and a small chair. he flipped open the lid to see a spare pair of jeans and a couple extra shirts. he had really under-packed, considering he had to live here now. sure, the rest of his stuff would get dropped off eventually but that would be a while yet and it was gonna be pretty hard making do in a tiny empty apartment with only a couple things of his own.

he missed being at home; having his comics and posters and all the random shit he kept in his room. but it wasn't his room any more, was it? this was his home now. and it was totally devoid of anything that could make it the slightest bit his, no difference between this and any of the other goddamn empty apartments in the town besides his notebook and record player. fuck, he really needed some furniture.

once gerard was dressed, he walked across the hall to the bathroom - his bathroom - with the intention of brushing his teeth. of course, he'd been so wrapped up in saying goodbye when he'd left he'd forgotten to pack one. this was going well. he set off to the kitchen, glancing at his reflection in the small bathroom mirror behind him. the teal roots of his black hair made him look especially pale, and his eyes looked sunken and tired. he couldn't tell if it was from his late nights or his makeup from the days before. it was probably both.

he stepped into his kitchen and decided to make toast.  he yawned as he walked over to the counter, pulling out two slices of the fresh, white bread and popped them into the toaster that the previous owners had left here. the toaster looked kinda sketchy, though he was too tired to care much about it. he decided to play a game on his phone as he waited, and that's how he ended up furiously wafting a tea towel at the fire alarm a few minutes later, trying to get it to stop.

he tried to revive the toast, but by the time the fire alarm had shut up and he'd managed to get the burnt bread out of the toaster, it was far from edible. gerard sighed, cursing under his breath as he gave up; the world clearly wasn't on his side today and the more things he tried to do, the more likely they'd go to shit.

he pulled his jacket on and set off to the store.

*

it took longer to get there than he'd hoped, getting lost on roads that were all the same to him. he could've sworn the town had five of the exact same book store but, thinking about it, he was probably just walking in circles and he wasn't paying much attention anyway. he also had a habit of turning a corner every time he saw someone who looked the slightest bit friendly (which compared to gerard was a lot- he wasn't exactly a people person). still, eventually he found himself at the furniture store he'd driven past and was greeted by the hot rush of air from the over door heaters.