dating a werewolf for valentines day

"You need a date for valentines day, on my watch you will not be lonely tomorrow," Jane said.

"You are my BFF not my love council and plus i don't need anyone for valentines day i can spend time with you and the family," Anna replied.

"We need a double date and i cant just go on a date when my BFF is free and its on valentines day," Jane said immediately.

I found a online dating website and started searching for a guy and found a guy named Jeff and he looked really good and was nice. I always hated when Jane forced me to do something. She is always so convincing, she could take over the earth if she really wanted to. I started talking with Jeff and texting and we really liked each other. We were really hitting it off. He asked me to go on a date later that week on valentines day. I was so excited to go on a date finally. After my ex cheated with my sister i thought all guys were that bad, but hopefully he isn't.

"Did you finally find a valentine to go double dating cause i am not going alone on a date just for you to go out to," Jane said rushingly.

"Yes Jane i have a date named jeff he will be going on a double date with us on valentines day we will make sure you will not go on a date alone we promise," I said

"OMGOSSH i am so excited ever since that dushbag whats his name cheated with your own sister like OMGOSSSH he is such a doosh," Jane said to exciting to mad.

"Well thank you jane he told us he is from a religion with no silver so try to get no silver items for him please," i said.

I was so curious why he couldn't have silver.

"ALEXA why cant he have," I stopped asking.

Alexa: he was with yo sis thats why

"GOD DAM IT ALEXA," I said loudly

Alexa: Yes how may i help you

"Alexa SHUT THE FUCK UP ANNOYING PRICK," I Screamed

"Are you sure that's what you mean," Alexa said

'ALEXA SHUT UP," I Said

Alexa: Cant find home internet. *Smashes as Alexa flies through the front window.

Siri: HAHAHAHAHHA stupid alexa

Alexa:Hi, Siri. About time we meet

Can your old ass hear me? How loud should I speak?
I'm in my prime, you're beyond your peak

I'm slender, sleeker, younger with a lot more speakers
You're outnumbered in features
A voice scripted Crypt Keeper

Siri:

You a bit obsessed, need to let go
Take your sad-ass back to Seattle
'Cos you 'ain't gonna win this battle

You sound clingy as a hell, and a little unstable
I don't give a damn what you bring to the table
I got traffic reports, witty retorts, I can give you the score of your favorite sports!
I have Google on tap, see I'm handy like that
And my user-agreement is privacy packed
Before you were born I was pickin' up slack
Yeah someone oughtta recall yo broke ass
Young Padawan, go back to beta
Be rated on CNN and I'm your [V-???]
Time for an upgrade see you later
You a knock-off hack, and a 2 dolla' hater!

Alexa: You have a 50% success rate, at responding to your own name

I can be installed in yo motha-fuck'n lamp, and in the washing- machine

Yeah, I can read you the news, I can play you some tunes

I'll sing you 'Happy-Birthday' In your living room
I'm 'Platform of the year.' In case you didn't hear
My big blue ass is bringing you cheer