The Space Between a Rock and a Hard Place|OT4

. 2 .

Finally, after what seems like forever to Calum, they prepare to leave, telling Luke they can give him a ride home. It's tense, sitting next to Luke on the back. Calum stares as his own hands and hoped Luke can't tell how much calums struggling to breathe and avoid tears.

After they've dropped Luke off, Ashton turns to look at Calum. Calum feels his heart race again, not excited for the lecture he's sure he's going to have to endure.

"Why were you being rude to Luke?"there it is. Calum wants to scream, he wasn't being rude, well, he wasn't trying to be rude. He just- how was he expected to just openly talk and be happy and polite with the boy when he's only just learned about him? That his dominants are dating him? Practically cheating on him?

"We're dissapointed, Calum. We expect better from you."

The words nearly shatter calums heart and he draws back, taking a deep breath, and the tears start. He can't remember the last time he heard that they were disappointed in him, he hates it, he absolutely hates it. Usually they avoid the word, they say less harsh things like "you didn't make a very good decision." Or "you're a good boy, we know you can do better."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I was just- I'm just- please don't be disappointed, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." He stutters, wiping away tears. "I just don't understand why- y-you didn't tell me about him before tonight, I didn't even know you wanted another sub." He finally makes his point, hoping this will be the moment when they realize how hurt he's feeling and how inconsiderate they're being and apologize and make it all better. He's sorely disappointed by the reaction.

"That's not the point, calum." That is the point. That's the whole point. "We told you to be on your best behavior and you were not-" he was- he was doing his best, how much more could they expect of him? He didn't get angry, he was polite as he could bare, he didn't make a scene. He did his best. "-and you probably hurt lukes feelings." Calums simultaneously enraged and hurt beyond belief at the words. He hurt lukes feelings? Do they not give a fuck about calums feelings anymore? "You'll be punished and go to bed when we get home."

Seeing no point in arguing now when they've clearly proved they don't care what he says or how he feels, Calum dejectedly accepts defeat and basks in the hurt and betrayed feeling.

"Yes sir." He whimpers and drops his head into the position it's been in all night, which is starting to hurt his neck. He barely notices, the pain in his chest overwhelming it.

When they get home Michael changes the submissive into pajamas and gives him a quick and hard twenty smacks over his knee- that Calum sobs his heart out all the way through. It hurts, but nothing compared to the emotional turmoil he's feeling- before putting him in bed and telling him goodnight and that they expect better behavior the next time they spend time with Luke. Calum silently agrees and rolls over, waiting for them to leave so he can cry himself to sleep.

His dominants reaction to his clear hurt confuses him. Normally they'd be concerned at how upset he is over such a simple punishment. Is he really overreacting so much that they can't even see he's hurting because he really shouldn't be? Is it really so hard to understand why calums upset? Maybe he is majorly overreacting.

He has two doms, why is it such a bad thing for them to want another sub? He reasons with himself. Still, he can't push the pain away. Eventually, still crying silently, he falls asleep.

When Calum wakes up in the morning and goes the the bathroom, the first thing he notices is his puffy red eyes in the mirror. He looks horrible. His skin is paler than normal and his hairs a mess and there's dried tears all over his face and he can't stop picturing lukes beautiful face and comparing himself the the blonde and just feeling absolutely horrible.

He does his best to make himself look better, washing with cold water and moisturizing and brushing his teeth and fixing his hair and attempting to put on an outfit he likes but still, he feels hideous. He can't make the puffy redness go away or the frown lines disappear. He wants to cry some more, but instead he rips off the cute outfit and instead throws on a hoodie and sweats to conceal himself.

It takes a long time for him to work up the courage to go downstairs and face his dominants. He doesn't want to, he feels so hideous, and so hurt and mortified and exhausted and angry and just- horrible. He wants to lay down and cry and sleep some more. He wonders why they haven't checked on him yet. Normally the morning after a punishment they're very attentive, and even when he hasn't been punished recently, he's usually up and in the kitchen by 9, so shouldn't they wonder why he's still asleep or in his room? Shouldn't they care?

Calum finally goes downstairs and finds that Luke is in their house. He feels himself deflate. It had taken a lot of courage to come downstairs in the first place and now he just feels so dejected all
over again, he feels like he can't feel safe and comfortable in his own home.

He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he's probably overreacting and maybe his dominants are right, maybe Luke doesn't deserve how calums acting.

The Maori bites his lip and decides to try and make his dominants happy with him again, so he quietly approaches where they're all sitting at the table and stands quietly until Luke looks to him. His dominants don't bother and Calum wonders if they're still mad.

"Good morning, Calum!" The blonde greets brightly and cheerily and Calum nods, smiling- even though lukes happiness makes him feel even more horrible. He hates feeling this way.

"Morning, um, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being rude last night, I was just um, tired and distracted. It was nice to meet you though." Calum says softly, feeling relieved and warm and happy inside when both of his dominants smile proudly.

"Oh, it's okay, I understand. It was nice to meet you as well. I hope we can talk more, though?" Luke asks and Calum bites his lip. Even though he knows that either way it's not lukes fault, the idea of spending time with him just sounds- painful.

"I have to shower..." he makes an excuse and Luke nods.

"That's alright, later?" Calum nods politely, sighing in relief that it worked, and heads back upstairs, even though he's starving and he had only come down to eat really, and showering even though he didn't really need to until tomorrow, since he did last night before they left for dinner, he just didn't feel like having to sit next to Luke and feel inferior again.