Chasing The Moon

Chapter 42

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Tw: blood, violence

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If I end up in this basement one more time, I think I might go insane.

My dad laid me across the cold ground, making me shiver, even though I was already freezing cold, at least that's what it felt like. He leaned down to tell me something, but looking at me I'm sure he could tell I was definitely not paying attention to anything other than the pain racing throughout my entire body.

The bandages on my arms were falling off, white cloth sprawled out across the ground. I wanted to fix them, but I just couldn't bring myself to move. Every time I tried I either had no energy or it just hurt too much. My body felt heavy, yet weirdly light at the same time. Kind of like I was floating, but I still feel the ground below me.

There was something else too, like a sensation that couldn't physically be felt. My chest, no, my heart hurt. I wanted to cry or to scream, or maybe both. It was like a mental resistance, telling me don't die, just keep living a little longer, don't give out just yet. It was nothing like the closet or when I took those pills, it hurt more right now. That was really all that was going through my head, my remaining energy coursing through something other than my consciousness.

Truly, I'm not even sure how I'm still alive, considering the shit I've put my body through.

Rubbing my cheek on the ground, I moved my head to a more comfortable position before I started coughing, clutching my stomach which felt like someone was stabbing it with a knife...again.

I brought my hand to my mouth, wiping off the blood which only continued to spill from my lungs. I groaned, closing my eyes, hoping this would all be over soon.

I squinted whenever the rusty door opened, bright lights shining in my eyes. My dad walked through, although it was all too blurry to see what he was holding. I could feel panic rushing through me but I couldn't move or back away.

My dad crouched down and lifted me up, although I was so wobbly I just kept leaning over, which means he had to use one hand to keep me steady and the other to do whatever he was planning on doing. I groaned from his touch, every interaction made me feel even worse. 

He sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist, picking me up. I kept telling myself to fight back, but it was pointless as my eyes kept drooping. I desperately tried to keep them open, to keep fighting a little longer, but everything around me was slowly falling into a blurry mess, a black haze shrouding my vision. 

I wondered if this was what dying felt like, mostly because...I had no clue if I was going to wake up or not.

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"-y..."

....

"-ashi..."

....

"Tadashi!"

I lazily opened my eyes, my confusion slowly taking over, although it didn't take long to remember what was going on. I groaned, my dads' cold fingers, which were tapping me awake, brushing against my cheeks. 

He sat back into his chair with a sigh, rubbing his fingers through his hair. I looked around me, my legs and then arms coming into view, and although they were fuzzy, I could partly make out my position. I tried to move around in the chair, but once again it felt like I was glued down like gravity was battling against me. 

I inhaled, the sudden tightness around my waist making me struggle in my spot. I knew there was something wrapped around it, but it still caused me an exceeded amount of frustration.