The Killing Hallucination

You know how you feel when you are being chased but it's all just a figment of the mind? Believe me, I've experienced it beforehand. My name is Mark and I'm 16 years old. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was just 10. I used to live in a rural town just outside Nashville, Tennessee. It was a quiet area and a typical place where anyone would want to settle. I used to live three blocks away from the park which was just around the perimeter. The whole park was covered in the grass only containing a paved concrete path which led to an old damp tree which I assumed was about 20 years old. This place wasn't the kind of park for recreation and fun, but it was all there is in this natureless environment. I would go sit by the tree every day after school doing my homework since it felt like a better place for me to focus due to my father making a lot of noise when working at home. I used to see what looked like people just walking around me and talking when all it was was the rustle of the wind and the sound of bushes.

One day, I was heading back home from school feeling like crap after taking an Algebra 2 exam which I most likely wasn't prepared for. That raised my anxiety levels since I had to return home and face my dad asking me how I did on that exam. I decided that a little fresh air would calm me down from that pressure. I decided to go drop my stuff immediately at home, grab a sandwich, and go sit by the tree that was across the path.

I was sitting there just eating my sandwich and minding my own business when my vision started blurring out. After refocusing, I saw a man who looked like a clown standing 20 ft away from me. He wore a suit with red and white stripes with long brown boots. It was like those boots the clowns wore at the circus in the 1980s. His face from what I could describe was painted in the colors red, white, and green. For some apparent reason, I blurted out the words:

"Hello? Uh... who are you?...".

No response...

"Uh excuse me... who... who are you?

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he turned his head towards me with it twitching from side-to-side. It was like this guy was not human. In his hand, he held a machete. HE WAS CHARGING TOWARDS ME with this head still twitching like it was before and his hand swinging the machete. I got up and ran as fast as I could through the narrow path that led outside the park. With adrenaline running down my spine, I ran through the path like a crazy maniac when all of a sudden I tripped.

I looked back to find NO ONE chasing me. I immediately went home and told my dad what happened. He didn't seem to believe me and took it as a way that I came up with this as an excuse to avoid the subject of my academics.

After that happened, I got ready for bed and decided to go to sleep. I kept having nightmares of that man in the clown costume. It wasn't even a man. It was some kind of ... thing lurking from the outskirts of my mind. I woke up terrified to find THAT THING standing right on top STARING at me. I stuffed my pillow over my head knowing this was all a hallucination and I counted to 5. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... . I looked back and the clown wasn't there. I immediately told my dad what happened to me and he took me directly to the psychiatrist to see what was wrong. After three months of therapy, I was finally stabilized after those horrors I have witnessed from just looking at that monster.

Six months later, my dad and I decided to move out to a different state which I am not going to mention. To this day, those hallucinations still haunt me, but I make sure to take my meds and that just helps. I'm hoping my story can be heard and witnessed by people who go through the same thing as me.