Merhayes Valentine's

Daydreaming

Meredith's POV:
I get to the hospital and go straight to the attendings lounge. I change into scrubs and put on a cardigan because it's cold. I walk to the nurses station to get my pre-op charts where I see Hayes. "Doctor Grey." He says as I walk closer I smile at him "Hayes." I reply he smiles. "Doctor Grey, your three o'clock got canceled." Nurse Amanda says before walking to help a patient. "Thank you Amanda." I reply. "I thought I was meeting you at the coffee cart." I say turning to look back at Hayes who was leaning on the counter with his elbows supporting him. "Mhm. You were but I know you so well that I already got you coffee." He says handing me a white paper cup with a brown lid. I shake my head "thank you." I say soft. He smiles "you're welcome. How was your morning?" Cormac asks push himself up with his elbows. I turn on my heels so we can walk to the elevator together. "Good... you?" I ask in return. He puts his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and sighs. "Well you gave me a heart attack but other than that it's been good." He says bumping into my arm playfully. I laugh which makes him smile "I still don't understand why or how you thought I just died." I say as the elevator opens. Cormac moves to the side so I get on first. "I don't know why you just ignored me." He responds I smile and nod "that's fair." I say as he walks onto the elevator. "I missed you." Cormac says as the elevator moves he turns to look at me "I missed you too... Doctor Hayes." I say lightly reminding him we are at work. He rolls his eyes and turns around. "That's a mean emoji." I say teasing him from earlier. He pulls the button that makes the elevator stop and walks up to me. "I'm not an emoji." He says I smile "I know but you made the same face." I reply. He gently puts his hand on my arm and runs his finger tips down it watching his hand move.

"Doctor Hayes-" I say clearly not bothered by what he was doing. "Meredith." He whispers close to me ear. I sigh at how thick his accent is when he whispers. I place my hand on his chest lightly pushing him back "we're at work and we're just friends." I say he smiles and licks his lips.

I want him to come closer to me I liked when he was by my ear, but I'm not ready for a relationship yet. I kissed him, and I like him like a lot but I need to take a minute for me. It's the respectful thing to do for Andrew and myself.

Cormac steps closer to me "we kissed. Meredith please tell me you felt something when we kissed." He replies. I nod as he slowly moves closer to my lips. I turn my head and he stops moving. "I-I-I can't. Cormac, I'm not asking you to wait for me but I am telling you I need a minute. Andrew was one of my firsts. The first man I said I love you to after Derek. You know that. Firsts are a hard thing to let go of. It's not easy for me to say those words. I understand if you don't get that or can't be with me later." I say not making eye contact with him. He backs up "Meredith I get that. I'm waiting for you. I'm not going anywhere I like you to much to let you just walk out of my life that easy. Promise me we can still talk though. I still want to be friends even if I can't kiss you and call you mine." He replies I let my head fall back because I want him. I want him to kiss me. I want him to call me his and hold me in his arms but I can't. "Cormac... dating or not, I need you." I say looking him in the eyes as I take a step around him to push the button making us move again. "Have a good day. Text me and stay safe." Cormac says as the elevator gets to the peds floor. I sigh upset. "I'll text you. You too." I reply he can tell I'm not okay but doesn't push.

Cormac's POV:
I'm not dating Meredith but sometimes it feels like I am. I understand that she is trying to be respectful and take time for herself. Firsts are a very important big thing which is why I haven't had many. I have a surgery in one hour, I have thirty minutes to kill before I have to do my pre-op so I decided to do some charts. I grab three charts then head to the attendings lounge to sit at the table by the counter because on call rooms here are weird.

"Hey..." Amelia says shocking me out of my daydreaming. I shake my head "hi." I reply, as she walks around my chair to the coffee. "How's the baby?" I ask she turns and looks at me "he cry's like all day." She replies I smile and nod "babies do that." I say. She sits down at the opposite side of the table across from me. "What's up?" She asks. I look at her confused "what do you mean?" I ask in return. "Why do you look so sad? You don't daydream and you were. What's up?" She elaborates. I sigh and rub my hand down my face. I lean back in my chair gripping the armrests. "Meredith." I say. She takes a sip of her coffee waiting for a better explanation. "Amelia I can't stop thinking about her. I can't. I think about her all the bloody time. I think about her everyday. During surgeries, when im sleeping, when I'm awake, cooking, talking with patients, help the boys with school work. She's always on my mind... don't get me wrong I love it but I've never felt like this and I don't know what to do." I continue Amelia makes that face she always does with her lips kind of pushed out. She leans back in her chair holding her coffee cup with both hands. "Sounds to me like you have a crush." She replies. I shake my head "no way. I- no. The last time I had a crush was when I met Abigail." I respond
"Cormac, what was that like?" Amelia questions. I look at her and think for a minute rubbing my hand on the back of my neck. "It drove me completely insane. I wasn't acting like myself and people started to notice. I would daydream a lot, I could only think about her and the things I wanted to do to her or with her. I started to get really bad with every other platonic relationship, and work." Amelia looks at me as I say this. "Oh my god." I continue she smiles. "You have a crush on my sister." Amelia says. "But she doesn't like me. She is taking time for herself to respect Andrew and how he was one of her firsts." I protest. Amelia narrows her eyes and shakes her head "okay well what ever the hell a first is... she likes you. I promise I've seen it before. She likes you. She is taking time for herself but Cormac, I wouldn't let her slip away." She says. I nod "see Mer does this thing especially since now she has kids where she will push and push and push you away just to see if you'll bounce back. She wants to know you'll fight for her and that you care. I think it's one of the reasons why her and Andrew didn't work out well. Cormac bounce, fight, and push back." She continues before getting up and walking out.

AUTHORS NOTE:
What will happen next?

Do you guys want this story to be happy or sad? Most of my stories if not all end up being very sad.