Hugh. Hugh was a banana. He wandered around doing banana things. All of the other bananas used to laugh and call him a banana, though he was never sure why, since he was, indeed, a banana. But either way they never let poor Hugh play any banana games. But Hugh was never bothered by this since he didn't even really know what banana games were, since he never played them.
One day, as Hugh was just doing banana things, Hugh slipped on a banana. He realized that it was a dead body and dialled nine banana banana on his banana phone. When the banana cops got there he left and kept on doing banana things. He realized a few minutes later that he was traumatised, so he went to a banana therapist every day for a month. And for a long long time, (a long time for a banana anyways.) that was the most interesting thing in his time of being a banana doing banana things.
Later, Hugh was too busy doing banana things to care how long later, he saw a strawberry banana smoothie. Hugh didn't believe in multicultural couples and was very racist. Especially strawberries. Seeds on the outside, how uncouth! He was so engrossed in his racism that for a moment he didn't even realize that they were dead bodies. He called the banana cops on his banana phone again and when they arrived they looked at Hugh suspiciously. They were the same banana cops as last time! They probably thought he was a fruit killer or something equally as absurd. He wouldn't stand for that sort of thing.
However,before he could confront the banana cops about their suspicios looks, the ground started shaking! The banana cops all fell over, along with Hugh himself. He quickly realized that the fall had caused his perfectly preserved peel to bruise. He was alarmed that it was starting to turn black. If he ever found whoever caused this earthquake he was going to give them a piece of his mind! He would send them straight to H-E double bananas! That would show them to mess with him!
He came out of his angered thoughts when he heard the sloshing of the strawberry banana smootie escaping from it's glass prison. He felt sick. Even if the strawberry was an unforgivable witch he still felt bad for the banana, even if it had fallen for the trickery of the strawberry.
But then, as suddenly as it had started, the earthquake stopped. And then there was silence.
YOU ARE READING
Of Bananas and Earthquakes
HumorA brave banana boldly bounces beyond the boundaries believed by his banana brethren by battling billions of barbarous beasts, bringing back his beautiful banana bride. Behold a ballad to behold!
