Masato No Yuura
Chapter 1
A gentle breeze carrying the delicate scent of a girl blew past Masato. Their gazes met each other. Masato felt his heart skip a beat. They had never met before. So why was he feeling this way?
He started walking towards her. The roaring engines and blaring horns slowly started fading in his mind. He lost grip of reality as his senses were filled with the thoughts of the girl. He suddenly realized that he was standing by the railing of the bridge. A river was silently crawling about a hundred feet below. The girl was sitting motionless on the ledge.
But why was the girl there? He looked at her. She was completely calm. As if, this was where she truly belonged. As she stared into the river... no, at the river itself, as if having a conversation. He stood beside her. He curiously took small but firm steps in her direction. He wanted to talk to the girl and ask her why she was sitting on the ledge.
Masato closing up on her, the girl smiled, ever so gently, and looked up at the cloudless sky. As he came to a halt, Masato was standing right beside her. Looking at her closely, he couldn't help but notice her beautiful brown eyes.
The wind blew playfully around her, fanning her straight, black hair that barely reached her shoulders. Masato's eyes peered into hers and he could feel her gaze reach his very soul. He stood expressionless. All the anxiety and fear from just a few moments ago was all gone.
Just as Masato was about to utter something, partly to be polite, rest – out of curiosity...
"Will you come with me?" She whispered into his ears as she bent closer to him.
He was out of his wits. Completely taken aback by her question. But he somehow felt that he knew where she intended to go. From her calmness, he thought that she was going to jump in.
No matter what, she wouldn't survive the fall. Neither would he. Even if he knew how to swim, the height was far too great. He couldn't wrap his head around her intent. Just what could it be that led her into believing that this was the only way she could go?
He was way past 'curious'. He wanted her to stop. He wanted to know. But her calmness made him feel that her situation was truly hopeless. Why else would she be so calm? And even if it wasn't hopeless, what could a guy like him possibly do? He couldn't clear any debts she might have, or any bills she couldn't pay. Hell, he couldn't even be a proper friend to her. He was just THAT bad at dealing with people.
While all these thoughts raced through his head, her sweet voice that could melt his brain again whispered.
"Will you? Please?"
This time, there was a slight quake in her voice. The corner of her eyes glistened as a tear started forming. The calm and resolved aura she gave off wavered for a fraction of a moment. That was more than enough for Masato. The gaze that soothed his soul now reeked of helplessness and sorrow. As if something so terrifying haunted her that even her death won't let her escape it.
I mustered up a smile as gentle as I could. Although it was quite an awkward one, I still wanted her to feel a little less helpless. I knew that I could not help her. But right now, not letting her go was the most important thing. It wasn't out of love or care or any such extravagant thing. I was selfish. I did not want her death on my hands. Or whatever that would follow it. If we could both return from this bridge safely, I would never want to meet her again.
I couldn't even imagine the sheer amount of pain she might have felt to push her this far. My life was no garden of roses, but it was if compared to hers. I just wanted to get out of the responsibility of her life which rested with me right now.
If I let her go right now, I would also go right after. It would be too much for me. The fear that crept in me and grew stronger by the second made me gasp for air as if it was choking me from the inside. My chest could no longer contain my heart. I had to stop her. At any cost. Or die with her.
Suddenly, Masato realized the kindness behind her words. He finally understood the true depth of her pain. Although the reason was still a mystery, the kind of emotion she felt had finally reached Masato. She could not let him shoulder the responsibility of her death. If she died on him, she knew that he could not bear its weight and would jump right after her.
So she was being kind and offered him solace in the face of death. All she could do for him was to not let him feel the pain of dying alone shouldering the responsibility of her death. She wanted him to feel a little less sad by offering him companionship in death. After all, dying together with someone would be much better than dying alone. He realized the reason she was tearing up. The reason behind the fraction of a moment when her resolve wavered. It was the sadness she felt – for him.
She knew she was asking too much of him. She knew that she was asking him to die for her, rather, with her. But she also knew that it was an extremely difficult decision to make. She felt sad because she just couldn't stay alive. Even if it was for his sake, she could not live. The guilt of having someone make this choice was what saddened her even more.
I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Unlike before, it wasn't explosive. It was as if a void had been created inside me. When I realized why she asked me what she did, I was already in her embrace. I suddenly felt the pain inside me vanish. I could feel her heartbeat. So calm, so gentle.
Her embrace was like the warmth of a blanket in winter. That was the closest feeling I had experienced to what I felt right now. But this was even more calming, serene, and gentle. I felt my arms surround her.
I realized that there was one and only one way to help her feel a little happy. Even if all her pain outweighed this happiness, it would still become a speck of light in the pitch-black hell her heart was in.
The only way I could think of helping her, at this very moment, was to accept her kind gesture. To embrace her in her final moments. Even if it didn't change anything, even if it didn't let her live on peacefully, she could at least die while embraced by somebody. So I held her tightly and mustered all the strength in my voice that was trembling ever so wildly as tears rolled down my cheek and onto her shoulders.
"Let's go."
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