"I'll see you soon!" Sofia announced, leaving for work.
Sofia and Ashley had been married for 7 years, inseparable since they met in high school, 10 years ago. With Sofia being a shy nerd and Ashley being the school's badass, the relationship seemed quite odd, yet the two were made for each other; opposites attract. The immediate connection upon meeting- a connection so strong that they were drawn to one another in a way they have never experienced before. The connection had only grown stronger, experiencing love so deep, strong, and complex, that they began to doubt they had truly loved anyone prior. Understanding and connecting with each other in every way and on every level. Yearning to be close, for the touch of one another, to hear their voice, to see them smile. They were indeed soulmates.
Sofia is a nurse who specializes with children. She is amazing with kids and knows exactly what to do in any situation. Some day she will be an amazing mother alongside her wife.
Ashley owns a business called Raven Co. that conducts interviews, does heavy research, publishes newspaper articles and books, and writes for the news. Ashley has always been very passionate about writing in any form and decided to create a business that can showcase many different talents.
Ashley has been working in her office all day, working on a new book that consists of many poems she has written over the years about the love she has for her wife. She realizes it is nearly 10:00 P.M. and packs up all of her unfinished work. She arrives at a surprisingly empty house, considering Sofia had gotten off work at 9:00 P.M. and should be home.
Ashley has called Sofia at least 20 times with her nerves gradually increasing after hearing the voicemail repeat. Sofia usually picks up whether she is busy or not, another reason Ashley is shaking in fear.
Ashley sighs and slams her phone down on the counter, running her fingers through her short jet black hair. Suddenly her phone rings, bringing her attention to it. An unknown number appears on her screen and she answers it with frustration. "Hello?" She grunted into the phone, annoyed. "Hello, is this Ashley Davidson, the wife of Sofia Davidson?" He asks in a monotone voice. "Yes this is her, is everything okay?" She questioned, worried. "Sofia has been in a severe accident and was rushed to the nearest hospital in critical condition." The color immediately drained from Ashley's face upon hearing the news. "She was hit by a drunk driver and-" Ashely cut the man off, ended the phone call. She sped to the hospital, not sure if her wife is dead or alive.
Arriving at the hospital in a few minutes, Ashley runs through the doors and up to the desk. "I'm here for Sofia Davidson, she's my wife." Ashley croaked. The lady at the desk looked up, "She is still in surgery. The doctor will let you know how everything went in a few hours." She explained in an annoyed tone. Ashley slowly walked over and sat in one of the chairs and pulled out her phone. She began to call Sofia's mom, Denice; Sofia's brother, Ralph; Sofia's best friend, Alex; and Ashley's best friend, Ashton. They had all shown up within an hour of the phone calls and pressed an emotional Ashley for any updates on Sofia's condition.
Many hours had passed before a doctor walked up to them, "Hello, I'm Mrs. Davidson's doctor. Can I please speak to her wife in private?" He asks softly. Ashley follows him to a private conference room where they both sit down in silence. "Is she okay?" Ashley asks hesitantly. "Your wife had sustained multiple major injuries and I had done all that I could to save her, but I'm deeply sorry to inform you that..." He continues, but Ashley can't hear any of it anymore. Everything just stopped. She felt her heart being ripped out of her chest. Sofia is dead. Her soulmate is dead. Her other half is dead.
Ashley sat there asking her the same questions. 'Why had it happened to her?' 'How can I live when she isn't here?' 'Why did she leave me?'
Ashley slowly walked back towards the waiting room with a hole in her chest. The 4 were standing around her asking whether or not Sofia is okay. "She's dead." Ashley mumbled, staring at the hospital floor. "What?" Sofia's mother asks, not hearing what had been said. Ash looks up, "She's dead. Sofia is dead." She whimpered, her emotions no longer being suppressed. Her knees buckle and a sob erupts, filling the room with her painful cries.
-ashley pov-
I stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my body. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had bags under my bloodshot eyes.
I looked down at my shaking hands and saw the ring. The ring that symbolizes our marriage. Our promise to love and cherish one another for eternity. But that's not possible. She isn't here. She isn't here for me to be able to show and tell her how much I love her. She isn't here to do the same for me either.
My eyes welled up with tears as I began to think of our wedding day. The smile she wore all day long and the way her eyes sparkled.
It should have been me. I should have been the one in that car, not her.
I'm so tired. Tired of crying. Tired of the pain I feel every moment of every single day. I wanted to hurt someone, thinking it might release some of my hurt, but I can't. I simply have no energy for anything other than crying.
The house was quiet. Her cheery voice no longer fills the halls. I miss her voice.
-7 years-
I've become numb; I can't feel anything. No more grief, guilt, or pain. Just nothing. It's as if my heart has actually been taken out of my body. It's like I am empty, just a body. I have nothing to control my anger, as it had been her who controlled it. I can never stop being angry.
And the fucked up thing? I can't tell if I'm more angry at myself for letting it happen, or her for leaving me. She was my rock. She kept me grounded and she isn't here to do that anymore.
I don't know who I am without her.
"Hey Sofia... it's me, Ash. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a little while." I muttered into the phone, ashamed. "It's been 7 years" I croaked, trying not to let the tears that are stinging my eyes fall. "We were married for 7 years even though it hadn't felt that long. But the 7 years you have been gone are feeling like a lifetime." I purse my lips as a few tears fall. "It's so hard without you, I can't do it. I can't!" I sobbed into the phone. "I am filled with so much pain. So much anger. Yet I am so fucking empty." I break down, letting my emotions get the best of me.
"I haven't even written anything since that day. I know you love watching me write, but if I try to pick up my pen... I'd never stop writing about the way my heart aches for you. I'd never stop writing about the way your death has made me feel rather than the way you lived." I whimper, hating the way my thoughts control me. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. If I could switch places with you for one day, I would have chosen that one. I hate that you had to suffer. The thing I hate the most though, is myself. The guilt is constantly suffocating me. It should have been me. I should have died, not you!" I release a sob filled with anger.
"They always say it will get better. How the hole in my chest will slowly be filled, but quite frankly, it has only gotten bigger. I don't think I can do this much longer Sof. I tried, I truly did." I cry into the phone staring at the bottle of pills in my hand.
"I love you Sofia, I really do... I can't wait to be with you again." My lips quivered as I spoke.
"I'll see you soon."
