Monster

Introduction

We are staring at the moon here in the park. It was a calm night, everything was so peaceful and relaxing. From the wind that blew some fresh cold air to the swing swaying slowly where we choose to sit. I came up here when I got a called from him. He was staring at the moon and then turns around to faced me.As his eyes met mine, I can't help but to feel that circulating feeling over my tummy. The fast beating of my heart and also the warmth that gaze bought to make me feel that I am melting.

Over the years we have known each other, over the years we've been there for each other and for over the years I just still can't tell him what I felt.

I've seen every part of you even the monster in you... - I started the conversation just to lighten up the atmosphere

Hm?... he responds just to make me continue

Tell me what is bothering you right now? I know you wouldn't call me this late when there is nothing bothering you. I continued.

Can't I just wanna be with you right now? He stated.

To my surprises I immediately looked away in his gaze just for him not be able to see how my face heated up

I mean...I just want to look at the moon with you. Isn't it beautiful tonight? He continued.

I turned my face again to look at him.

I sighted. I'm assuming things again he was just probably wanna see the moon.

Uh-huh? Yeah it is. I answered and look at the moon.

It was really beautiful tonight and I love seeing the moon over and over again. And I would love to see it more over again with him.

Hey... he called.

Hmm? I hummed while still staring at the moon.

I-I want to know your thoughts about me. He said shyly.

And why is that so? I curiously ask him and look at him again.

I just wanted to know it. J-Just that. He said trying to avoid my gaze.

Right now my thoughts about you is your the type of person who tries to act so strong and vulnerable. I can see in your eyes those pains you are trying to keep inside of you. The monsters that keeps on bothering you keeps coming back cause you're too afraid of letting it be free. I said Without breaking my eyes on him.

Hays, I breathed deep. if he just let me chase his problems with him... he might not be dealing it hard. I know he wants to keep it from himself. He didn't want to bother me. But it is still bothering me because I care for him. When he will be able to recognize about it?

I-I'm trying you know. It just that it was hard to put things in words and trust people. He answered back.

Even I? You still don't trust me enough aren't you? I ask feeling a bit hurt in my heart.

No that is not what I meant. While suddenly he held my hands and get me more close to him. "I trust you but I just don't want you to felt the pain that I have."

I blinked twice. Wasn't prepared on how to answered him back.

"If only I can hide all these pain from you, I'll do it just for you not to worried about me Aria."

I see your monsters
I see your pain
Tell me your problems
I'll chase them away
I'll be your lighthouse
I'll make it okay
When I see your monsters
I'll stand there so brave
And chase them all away...

As I sang the song in a low and slow monotone but he still could hear I released my hands from him to hold his face. My eyes started to teared up. I look in to his eyes. His eyes which filled with sadness and pain.

"You don't have to hide it for me not to worried because even if you don't hide it I will still be worried about you. I care about you not because we know each other for years. Damn it! The reason is because I am fucking in love with you already Ken." I exclaimed.

And after that night I haven't saw him again but I saw a letter on our door the next morning.

Hey Aria,

      Sorry I have to go away from you. I have to leave as I can't take to see you being worried about me. I'm sorry that I cannot answer yet your confession to me but don't you ever think that I don't love you back because from the start you were the only girl that I would love to spend my whole life with. I have to leave for my peace of mind, for me to be better and for be able to tell you personally how much I love you. As I'm gone please continue your life without me. I know you can do it. You're the most strongest person I've ever met. Thank you for all the things you have done to me. That night when you sing that song to me all I could ever wish is to be beside you forever but I'm not selfish. I know I might just hurt you tho I know leaving you would still hurt you but this is what I think the best for us. I will not forget that night when we both look at the moon sitting on swing and that song you have sang on me. I'll keep that in my mind and when I'm ready and when everything is alright, I just want you to know that I will be back.

"You have seen the monster and pain in me and thank you cause when I'm with you, you chase all of it away for a moment. Just like the moon that lights the dark, You are my lighthouse that when I'm in the dark you lights up my way to find my wayback to the right path." I love you Aria.

                                                                 -Ken