VI
Amy, Kylee, and Jacob come over around six. Luke is feeling better today and playing with my old Gameboy. He thinks he’s ahead of everyone because he’s the only one who had one, and I don’t want to tell him that he’s got it completely backwards. Amy brings over cupcakes, typical, and two of them are missing.
“I don’t know where they went,” Jacob says, icing on the corner of his mouth. Amy wipes it off and rolls her eyes.
“Hey little man!” Kylee says, high fiving Luke. Lauren comes and hugs each of them around the knees, which is about where she stands compared to everyone.
“Why are you here?” Lauren asks.
“Taylor invited us over,” Amy says.
“Why?”
“Well, because…”
“Because they’re my friends Lauren,” I say.
“Yes, of course,” Amy nods. Lauren shrugs and runs back to her room.
Luke eventually falls back asleep, and Mom is asleep by nine as well.
“So,” Jacob say, sprawling out on my bed, “What are we really doing here?” Amy nods, and squeezes into the only corner on my bed that Jacob hasn’t claimed. Kylee, who is painting her toe nails with my white out, looks up at me. I sit at my desk, and they all stare at me, waiting. “I don’t know how much you know, and there’s not all that much to tell,” I say, taking a big breath, “On Monday we took Luke to the doctor’s, because I thought he wasn’t doing so well. From there they sent us to the ER because the doctor had some suspicions. At the ER they ran some tests and they all came back and said that Luke… has leukemia.”
“Oh,” Kylee says, letting some white out drip on my floor. The color drains from Amy’s face ad I can see her eyes fill with tears. Jacob doesn’t really do much of anything.
“I’d apologize but we’re all close to him,” Jacob says finally.
“He has his first chemo treatment yesterday and he’s got another tomorrow after school,” I say.
“I want to come,” Amy says.
“Ditto,” Kylee says. Jacob looks up at us, not saying anything.
“You don’t have to come,” I say gently. He opens his mouth to say something, but it just hangs there. He stands slowly and walks down the hall. No one follows him.
As if on cue, Jacob walks in with Luke in arm. “Little buddy wanted to hang out with us.” Luke nods slowly, smiling. Jacob sits on my bed and cradles Luke in his lap. I’ve forgotten how close the three of them are to both of the twins, and my heart feels heavy. This affects them almost as much as it affects me. Lauren joins the party after a minute too. They should be sleeping, but I don’t want to break this up. Instead I sit down on the floor next to Kylee and spread out. Lauren comes and snuggles up against my side, and we listen to the conversation happening around us.
I must’ve fallen asleep some time in there, because I wake up at four with Kylee sleeping next to me and Luke on my bed. I’m not sure where Jacob and Amy are, but they probably left when Kylee and I sacked out. My back hurts and my head aches so I crawl onto my bed and Luke curls against me. He feels a lot smaller and thinner than Lauren does, and the reality of this whole situation hits me like a hard punch to the stomach. I can’t be worrying about anyone else but Luke now, because his wellbeing is the only thing that I need to focus on. He snores lightly, and I watch his chest rise and fall slowly. How could this happen to him? So innocent, never wronged anyone, never had (or possibly will have) the chance to. More importantly, however, how could God do this to him? Or do this to me? Four years with him is not enough. Four years with anyone isn’t enough.
