Are We Too Late or Am I Too Soon? (Completed ☑️)

CHAPTER 20

"Hin?"

"Te..."

As soon as they heard each other's voice, both started to cry. It was evident how they missed each other so much and hearing each other say their endearment to one another had them in tears.

"I missed you, Hin. So much, it hurts." Tay said in sobs as he aggressively wipes his tears.

"I missed you, too, Te. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."  Tay can hear how heavy New's cry is, too.

After stabilizing his breathing, Tay said, "So what happened, New, why did you disappear on me like that?"

"I'm sorry, Te. I just had no other choice. If I didn't do this, a lot of people will get involved and one of them is you. I don't want to bring you into this mess."

"So you just decided on your own without talking to me? You didn't even explain why you left? No letter, no message, no call, no nothing?"

"I...I was afraid you would not let me go."

"OF COURSE I WOULD NOT, HIN! But that's the time you will make me understand why I should! Do you think I wouldn't? Don't you trust me?"

New's cry became heavier and it took him seconds before he responded.

"It was not like that, Te. I was afraid because I know myself. If you ask me not to do it, I might just agree because I'm weak for you, Te. If you beg me to stay, I would have. And I just don't have the luxury to do that. Mr. Gee's wife is a powerful woman. P'Jack said that if she finds out that the baby is an illegitimate child of Mr. Gee, she might do something to Mint and the baby. And then there's also us. If people find out about us, you can get involved, too. When the news broke out, a lot of people became adamant about knowing my personal life. P'Jack was right. I would not want you to come out under these circumstances. You're at the peak of your career, Te. I would not want to be the reason why you'll lose all that."

"So you just decided for me? Hin, I love my job but I love you more! Why wouldn't you let me protect you? Why do you keep protecting me? You keep treating your boyfriend like a kid you actually forgot that I'm two years older than you!" Tay took a deep breath before continuing, "I would have understood, you know? If you just told me everything from the start, I would not have been a wreck these past few months. You left me hanging without any assurance that you'll come back. People keep saying it's just temporary but if a lot of things can happen in a span of a few months, what more in years? I'm getting paranoid here because I don't know if I'm still in a relationship. You liked her before and now that you're living under one roof, I can't help but get jealous and my insecurities are eating me up! You're wearing a different ring now, you're holding somebody else in your arms now, dancing with her now and I keep on asking, 'where do I place myself with you, Hin if somebody's already by your side?'  I always try to stay confident and I keep telling myself that you'll be back but at the back of my mind, a voice keeps on saying 'what if you wouldn't? what if you are happier with her now?' and I know I should be happy that you are happy but I can't, Hin. All I feel is pain and longing and anger because again, you left without telling me anything! You never answered any of my calls or messages so I just stopped and told myself that if you wanted to reach out, you would have already! But you never did!" After letting it all out, Tay once again broke down in tears.

"I was stupid, Te. I have been selfish, too. I just wouldn't be able to take it to see you hurting that I chose to avoid you instead. I'm sorry, Te. But believe me when I say that I love you very much, and it takes everything in me to avoid you, to not call you or message you, and every night, I look at the other side of the bed and imagine you there. I want to run to you, Te, all the time, and believe me when I say that I almost do. But I can't just drop everything now and it's not like I thought about making you stay with me while I'm married to Mint but...I don't want you to feel like a side-piece. I don't want you enjoying the day with me just for me to go home with somebody else. You deserve better than that, Te. Plus Mint and I are now always being watched. We were able to hide before, Te, but I don't think we can do now." 

New had to pause for a moment before continuing, "And I'm just wearing a different ring in a public, Te, but I always have our promise ring near my heart. I never remove it unless quite necessary. I don't know if you noticed but I don't expose my chest quite often anymore. I'm sorry that I have to hide it but I would rather have it hidden than not have it at all."

Tay thought for a moment. Of course, he always stalks New on social media since that is the only way he can see him now and he noticed how the latter always buttons up his shirts now but he just thought it's because Mint told him to dress that way.

"So it's still me, Hin?"

"It will always be you, Te. Will you forgive me?"

Tay smiled, "When did I never?"

Tay heard New sob a few times before responding, "Thank you."

"You're still stupid, though." Tay chuckled and he heard New chuckle, too.

"I know. Please don't remind me again. I let my fears take over, I forgot that I'm actually in a relationship with one of the smartest and kindest men who ever existed."

"Can I go to you tonight?"

"Well, I'm here at the place the company set up for Mint and me while we do this fake marriage thing."

"I know where that is. I've been there." Just when Tay said that, he suddenly covered his mouth. Shit, he thought.

"HUH?"

He forgot that New doesn't know that he's always there almost every night because Gun told him to respect New's decision of not talking to him.

"You know where this is? How did...Gun." I'll talk to that little guy, New thought.

"Hey! You can't be mad at him! If he didn't tell me where you live, I would not have kept sane these past few months!"

In an instant, a realization dawned on New. I was right. Tay always comes to me wherever I am whenever he needs somebody.

"I'm not mad. I was actually planning on thanking him, for your information. So what do you do when you go here?"

"I just sit in the street gutter until you turn off the lights in your room. Sometimes, I even stay longer."

"You're having a hard time sleeping at night again?"

"Whose fault is that?" Tay asked sarcastically. 

"Sorry."

"Enough with the apologies, Hin. I forgive you already. I can't stay mad at you for a long time, you know that. I just really want to see you tonight. Can I?"

New thought for a moment before answering, "It's late. Will you be okay? You drank, right?"

"Yeah. But not too much because you're not here and I can't have them take care of me again. Peng still won't stop bugging me about how heavy I was when he carried me. Anyway, I'll leave now. See you?"

"Okay, see you, Te."

As soon as they hung up the call, Tay went inside and moved to the bedroom to fix himself. Once out, Gun asked, "Where are you going?"

Tay smiled from ear to ear. "I have a date with Hin."

"Really? You can go on dates now?"

"Well, no. Not really. It's just a street-gutter date."

"Huh?"

"Anyway, I have to go. You can sleep here if you want." Tay didn't even let Gun respond and hurriedly went out of the apartment.

I'll see you, at last, Hin. Tay thought excitedly.

---