dix-huit : grant me a dance this eve

24 10 8
                                    

12:49 a.m.
monday morn 
bedroom parlour

***

"grant me your first dance
this very eve, my moon."

my smile faltered,
taken by the sweep
of cold anxiety that
hangs in the
bannisters of the
air.

my tongue felt as if
it was clipped — the
knife of the words of
this boy was it's
undoing.

i looked up to my
mother, seeking
for the words i
should choose —
she was still.

no answer.

she wants me to
choose by myself.

"you'd have to ask my
mother's permission."

"i already did, to satisfy
your growing anxiety."

he stood tall. a hand
he beckoned to me.
he is too devious -
i hate it.
i like it.

i'm confused.

he confuses me so.

***

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