Homesick (Lesbian)

Chapter 3: Isolation Part 2

Scott came back ten minutes later and asked if I was ready to go grab something to eat. Apparently, he knew me better than I thought because he immediately brought up Italian, and I love me some Italian food. He took me to this nice, fancy-ass Italian restaurant just a few blocks away from the gallery.

Once we had picked a table, he said, "Order whatever you want. It's on me."

"Really?" He grinned and nodded. "Fine, I want some pasta with pesto and parmesan."

He laughed and said, "Why did I know you were gonna order that?"

"No idea. I never wanted pasta when we were together."

He became uncomfortable all of the sudden, and it made me wonder for a minute what he was thinking, but before I could ask what the matter was, he called for a waiter and ordered.

After the waiter left, he started talking, purposely trying to get the conversation in another direction which only made me feel more suspicious about what the hell he was doing, why he was acting that way.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What you mean?"

"You're acting weird since I asked why you know I like Pasta Con Pesto E Parmiggiano."

"I am? I didn't notice."

"Right, but-" At that moment, my phone buzzed. My mother was texting me to find out how everything was. "Sorry, it's my mom. Give me a sec."

I stood up, went into the bathroom, and called her back. I don't know why I do that. It always makes me so uncomfortable to have phone calls in front of people. I feel like it's rude to be sitting across from them having a conversation with someone else, so instead, I just take some space and call back.

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Hey, mom."

"How are you? What happened?"

"It seems like I'll be staying in New York for a while. Scott's boss wants twenty-six paintings. I'm really happy."

"Oh, honey that's so great. I'm so happy for you. Have you told her?"

Truth be told, my mom didn't say her. She actually said her name. I hated that. I hated hearing her name, I hated people persistently with trying to bring her up, I hated that I couldn't deal with it.

"Why would I?"

My mother stuttered for a moment not know how to respond, then decided to go with "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm very happy for you though."

"Mom, I'll call you later, I'm having lunch."

"Sure. Take care, honey."

"I will. I love you, mom."

When I got back to the table, Scott was nowhere to be seen so I just sat back down and waited. He returned a few minutes later and asked if everything was okay. I shook my head.

"Scott... do you think I'm been silly?"

"About what?"

"Keeping my distance? Not talking to her of wanting to say anything about her."

Scott sighed. "I don't know. And I know you don't wanna talk about her but I can tell you that you two are two sides of the same coin. She refuses to talk about what she feels, too. And she won't say your name either. You mirror each other a lot, is what I'm trying to say. Honestly, I can't tell you how to handle what happened... or how to deal with what she did. I don't think anyone can. Every relationship is different, every connection is different and I think the most important opinion is your own. So if right now you feel like you're not ready to talk about it, I get that. But you also need to understand that eventually, you will need to deal with it. Either by trying to fix your marriage, or ending it for good."