I love you more than you know.

Chapter 1

I'm staring. Blankly. She just doesn't shut up. The worst part about college - the overly annoying teachers they have to find, huh. I prefer just staring out the window, imagining what it would be like to be a bird. Or something like that. Perhaps a frog - unattractive to the eye so left to peace. It's much better than listening to her.

"Silyca, what should be done when we have an unknown on one side?" Asks my professor. My empty head just stares back. "You there? Anyone in there..?" She inquires, cocking her head to the side, a confused look plastered upon her face. My brain suddenly clicks back in: 'She's asking ME a question? I-I haven't been paying attention the past 20 minutes what the hell am I supposed to do-' I begin to fluster. "I-I.. uhh.." I begin. 'This is bad this is bad this is bad'  I realise.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice something, someone, waving a piece of paper with some ink on it. I squint my eyes a little to read it. It reads, "You have to find the difference between the total and the equation," with a cute smiley face by the side. "Y-you have to find the difference between... the total and the equation?" I manage to mutter. The person holding the paper smiles at me, and then quickly blushes and hides his face. He has a face of pure gold - the kind that could entrap even the wildest of souls. A rosy blessing of fortune inscribed upon the delicate face of a boy sitting across the other side of the classroom; one I'd never noticed before.

"Good answer, Silyca. I'm impressed, you've clearly been listening!" Remarks my professor. I let out a sigh as a wave of relief crashes upon me. This boy - I don't even know his name - just saved me. But it's not like it means anything. He probably just wants to feel useful. I don't need to know his name, he's not important. He's just a boy that helped me when I wasn't paying attention. Nothing more, nothing less.

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It's 10pm. Night has long since rolled by, the day is practically over, is it not? But.. I can't stop thinking about today. What is wrong with me? I think to myself. I shouldn't be thinking about a guy like this. He just helped me, so what? But... that smile... it was like a golden embrace of kindness, a sweet dagger of hope cutting into my empty heart.. 

No. He just smiled, it was just a normal smile. Nothing special. Move on, Silyca. You have better things to worry about, like Gran. She's in hospital after all - she's the priority here. Not some dumb boy. I'll stop thinking about him soon enough, and it'll be like he never existed.

I decide to just go get a glass of water, and chill out to some music. I softly walk over to my kitchen, grab a glass, and set it down upon a small countertop next to my sink. There's a small mirror situated some few inches away from my face, and inside it stands a small, 5'3 girl. Long, flowing brown hair arrows freely down her back and down the sides of her face, encapsulating a modest face boasting two beautiful amber eyes, and two rosy red cheeks. Someone's clearly happ- Wait a minute... I'm blushing?? No no no no... this house is just hot, that's all it is.

In an attempt to just move on, I grab the glass and begin to fill it as I neglect the mirror, so as to not get the idea that I'm blushing. But in looking away, the glass starts to overflow, and feeling the cold feel of the flowing water catches me by surprise - the glass slips out of my hand, smashing with a terrible noise and covering my arm in even more water than it already had. 

I try to scream out of surprise, but I force my palm upon my lips to hush the sound. I... I can't let anyone see me like this... I look like the ripest tomato you've ever seen. I gingerly pick up the fragments of glass littering the quartzite bowl and drop them into the bin, and quickly scurry back to my room.

'Why are you such a mess? Just stop thinking about him. Now. This isn't you, Silyca, snap out of it.' I order myself. 'I'll just go to sleep, and tomorrow I can visit my Gran and forget all about this, I can be normal again. No more worrying about a stupid boy..' All he did was help me in class. I tell myself, as I softly reach for my blanket, and prepare to sleep.

Just a boy... Just a random person I'll never need in my life... Nothing to me...