Love Grows (Love series: book 3)

Chapter 6.

Ella 

Trauma... it's a funny word, isn't it? I've never really given much thought to it before; I knew it happened to people. And I knew that people dealt with it every day all over the world, but you never think that something would ever happen to yourself that would cause such trauma, at least I didn't not until the attack happened and I was left with the aftershocks of what Kylie caused for me.

For me is caused by aftershocks that I never saw coming, the panic, the anxiety, and the smallest of triggers that set them of for me, and it's hard to understand them. Or how to control them, to not let it overtake my life any more than it already has for myself and for my family.

This is why I find myself on a couch in a therapist's office. This is my first session, and I don't know if it's going to help or not, but I just knew that I needed to do something and that I had to be the one to help myself.

But it was hard to get here, it took me an hour to get out the front door, the only reason I did is because I called Max, to ask him if he would take me and he is currently sitting in the waiting room for me, which is easing my anxiety because I know I'm not alone, I know that I am safe.

I could have waited until Scott got back from dropping of Remi, but I just feel like a burden to him lately, even though he says I'm not I can't help but feel like a problem for him and I didn't want him to see me like that this morning, to see the fear in my eyes just at the thought of someone being on the other side of the door there waiting to hurt me.

"This is a safe space Ella," A voice says which breaks me out of my thoughts. Removing my hand from the zipper of my biker jacket that I was fidgeting with, and looked up at my therapist, DR. Lawson.

At first glance he looks professional enough, in his late forty's maybe, there's a family photo displayed around his office and awards hung up on the wall. He came highly recommended, in LA he's the best Trauma therapist there is.

"I know....." I sighed off, I don't know where to start about any of it, there's so much going on and there's just so much that's a mess in my life right now, and not all of it was caused by Kylie, my mom and her lies caused some it too.

"Why don't you start by what happened in your life recently, that you felt like you had to seek help?" Dr. Lawson says to me, meeting his eyes, and sighed.

I can do this right? It's why I am here to heal.

"I think that may be a long list Doc" I answered honestly because it is a long list and I have had a lot that has happened to me these last few months.

"And we will work on that list as we go along. But for now, in your own words. Pick one thing that has affected you more than the rest has" He explained.

"Kylie" I automatically reply without blinking, her actions caused physical shocks, the bruises have healed for me, the gunshots have healed for Riggs and Valerie, but the scars are still there for all of us.

"And who's Kylie?" Shaking my head and take a deep breath.

"She was the woman who stalked me, hurt me, and would have killed me"

"And why did she do that to you?" Dr. Lawson asks and then stays silent ready to just listen to me so I carried on.

"The beginning of the story starts with me and Scott, my now-husband. We went to high school together, fell in love, then he left me and that was that. I spent five years raising the daughter he never knew about, he spent it being famous and sleeping around-;" I broke off and wince, I've accepted Scott's past, but it still leaves a mark with me.