not a perfect online love story

PROLOGUE

Kakabreak pa lang namin ng boyfriend ko non. Hindi ako yung tipong babae na nagseseryoso. No one's serious about rpw. Tanga lang ang magseseryoso don.

I'm a bitch and I won't deny that. I only said yes to my ex because I only want to know what's the feeling of having a boyfriend. My parents won't allow me to have a boyfriend in real world.

But to my horror, my ex have fallen for me and I don't like that. I don't even like the idea of having a serious relationship. You know, role playing world nga diba? Bat ka magseseryoso when in fact you don't even know if his feelings are genuine or not.

Sorry ex but I used you to satisfy myself. Call me names but this is me, a selfish brat. Dapat pala di ka sakin napunta. Di ko alam na dalawa pala kaming nililigawan mo ipinaubaya nalang sana kita. And she's my fvcking bestfriend in rpw. I'm sorry for being selfish. I can't change myself because this is me.

When I was breaking up with him, trust me it felt  like ako ang pinakamasamang nilalang sa mundo. You loved me, ex. I knew that through your actions. Sabi ko sa sarili ko mawawala din yan it's just like. But kahit na matagal na tayong break, you keep on pestering me and in our gc, palagi kang nageemo sa recent ex mo. Ako lang naman recent ex mo.

My bestfriend and I argued because of my ex. I can't tell her the exact reason why. Barakada ka din niya kaya mas pinili kong magsinungaling na lang. I don't want her to know the real me. She might leave me. What a hyprocrite. Di nako magtataka kung iiwan din ako non. Yun nga ginagawa ko sa iba eh. Wala nakong karapatang magdemand na wag ako iwan.

Di ko planong isali ang reality life ko. Pero days passed na palagi akong galit. My mother even scolded me because I was getting angry with no reasons at all. I guess I have feelings with him or it's just that di ko matanggap sa sarili ko na ako ang mali. I guess it's the second one.

This whole shit, not literally shit, happened when I entered rpw. And because of that squad I felt emotions that are unfamiliar to me.

I got a solid squad back there and he left because of me. I told myself na kung maglalandi man ako di yung kasali sa squad para di masayang yung pinagsamahan bilang magkakaibigan.

So yun nga ginawa ko. Naglalandi pero not inside the squad. Bat ba?eh sa di ko mapigilan genes kong malandi. Palagi kong sinasabihan mga tropa ko na iadd ako sa gc nila kaya ayon inadd ako. Nakita nila mga katarantaduhan ko dun sinupportahan pa nga nila ako eh.

So ayun nga ginawa ko. Landi there! Harot here! Landi everywhere! Alam ko din naman na yung mga nilalandi ko di din mga seryoso kaya go lungs landi lang. Pero never ko silang napm. We never talked privately kase alam namin na role play lang lahat.

Kaya laking gulat ko nong may nagchat sakin HAHAHHAHA. "May naligaw na chat ata ah", I said to myself. "Try ko kaya maging real selp ko. Tingnan natin magtatagal ba to.

And our conversation started.

Everyday we chatted.

Teasing each other has always been our entertainment.

Everything's different.

I never felt like this to my ex.

We talked about nonsense things til one day he was being possesive. And I'm freaking turned on instead of being annoyed. Possesive boys are my type just so you know but not too much though. Chatting with him made my day.

But sad to know that he's also my destruction. The destruction of my almost wanted life. Everything happened so fast that I found myself crying every night because of him.