the only beautiful thing about me it's the way i present myself, the combination of my skin and bones, the outside. why am i so unlovable? i'm sure i caused a lot of pain in my pasts lifes, i shattered hearts and leaved marks in souls. now this is my punishment; being unable to feel love, unable to ever feel comforted by the warm touch of my lover's hands. i will deambulate across the world of madness, always trying to feel the need to care for someone when they don't feel the same, i will die trying, because the only remotely similar thing i will ever feel in my entire existence is just the worship i think i deserve, the endless obsession i have with my own self. i will have to feel the blood of every single one of my lovers against my skin just because i felt wanted, and god doesn't want me to. he tries to make me forget about lust, about natural desire. he didn't want all that running through my veins, he wanted them to be empty. empty, cold veins, empty heart and dark soul. not even god could get what he wanted. the destruction i was planning on my head was unspeakable, and nobody but me has their mind clear enough to guess it. i will make everyone love me, i will cover their brain in sweet honey with fake words, and they will fall for it, because nobody's ever been loved the way they think they deserve. i want their red, healthy, pure hearts to make part of mine. i collect them so i can finally have one my own.
