PHILIP! (A Philip Hamilton Story)

Chapter 27: Sorrow

A/N & TW: this is going to be a very sad chapter and there's mention of death, sickness and suicide.

Lafayette POV:

I've been crying for days maybe weeks. I kept Paris home from school and basically closed us off from society.

"Papa, why can't I go outside?" She asked me one day.

"Because I don't want you to get hurt or sick like your mother, Paris." I said, plainly.

She looked sad but continued to hug me. She knew this is hard and that I can protect her. It's true I didn't want her to get hurt or sick but she did look very disappointed.

She's just like her mother. If I hadn't been so careless, she might still be with us. I remembered a few days after my beautiful Peggy had died.

~flashback~

Paris was at Alex's house. I went to a river and cried. I looked out and knew that I couldn't live without my wonderful, beautiful, joy filled, lovely, amazing wife.

I stood in the river and contemplated my life. I thought about suicide but then thought of the pros and cons.

If I died, I would get to be with the love of my life.

If I lived, I could be with my beautiful daughter, family and friends.

I knew what I had to do and it obviously didn't involve me going under the water with stones attached to my feet. I missed my wife dearly but I loved my daughter and would never want her to be an orphan like I was.

~end of flashback~

I kissed the top of Paris' head.

"You can go to school tomorrow if you think you're up for it?" I asked her. Her face lit up with excitement!

"Thank you papa! I really miss school and my friends!" She said excitedly.

She hugged me and ran upstairs to pick out her outfit for the next day. I watched some TV and sighed.

My little girl was growing up and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I hated to see her unhappy and keeping her in the house didn't help. She needed a distraction instead of being reminded her mother was dead every second of every day. I guess I better call her teachers and tell them everything.

Eliza POV:

I got a call from Lafayette saying that Paris would be coming back to school. I missed my sister so much but I remembered a phrase or motto I heard once.

"Just keep swimming" it said.

I had to be strong for my students and my family. I was offered time off and gratefully accepted it. Unlike Alex, I love to be home with my kids.

Alex started working longer hours. I just assumed it was his way of coping with Peggy's death. After taking 2 weeks off, I felt good enough to go back to work and a middle school teacher.

Paris, of course, was in my class. Along with Theo, Anthony and Philip. Yes, it is weird having my son in my class but it's not mentioned.

I always have Philip stay after class to finish his homework. He is very smart for his age so he finishes quickly while I grade papers.

Luckily, during the day, AJ stayed with my father but me or Alex picked him up immediately after work. It was usually me since, as I mentioned, Alex was a workaholic.

I still love him though, and all of my kids.