When you look out the window that first time you see the cold and it hits you. You realize the happiness is gone. You see nobody in sight and suddenly you can feel your heartbeat in your ears. So you just stare and wonder. Wishing things could be different. Seeing that 'one thing' that means everything then feeling your mind settle on the heart wrenching solid fact that 'one thing' no longer feels how you feel. I pushed that thought out of my head the very second it formed.
After awhile I get so sick of wondering why and walking through these familiar woods I see in my mind everyday. I get to the point where my life is either extremely predictable or so unknown that you could forget your whole world in a day. At any given moment, anything could happen. With my life, there's no in between just one way or the other. Wonder how my life is going to turn out. Wonder what day tomorrow is. Now I hear the same things over and over again. The sad part is I find myself wondering and wishing too much. Not only are wishes made at 11:11 PM, but instead whenever I'm in doubt. Which is also quite frequently. Is there anything wrong with some sort of wonder roaming my mind each and every day?
