It was a Sunday night when I found out that one of my friends was thinking about suicide, and that he had attempted it numerous times. Some of my friends and I were just getting out of our youth worship class when my friend, Austin, pulled me and one other girl aside. Secretly I had a major crush on Austin so I was freaking out on the inside when he pulled me aside. He told me and the other girl that he had thought about suicide quite a bit, and just in the month Octuber he had attempted it twice. When I heard of this I was heart broken, not only because he was my crush, but also bcause he was one of my good friends. I told him he shouldn't think that way, and when he asked why I said "I have had many friends and family members thathave committed suicide and I was very sad when I lost then." When he heard me say this he said "You haven't known me very long so there is no way I could possibly hurt you." When I heard this I wanted to cry, because he had no clue how much he meant to me, but instead I said "If you were to take your life I would be so upset, I would take my own life to stay with you. You have no idea how much you truly mean to me. For a moment he stood there in awe at my words. He knew that whatever he said to me I could think of something to couteract with. Finally after about five minutes he said "You would truly take you own life for me? Wow I had no idea how much I mean to you. Please will you tell me wit one-hundered percent honesty how much it is that I mean to you?" i looked him straight in the eye and said "Ask me the next time you see me because it would take me to long to tell you tonight." With taht being said I told him goodbye and to message me on faccebook, then I left. When I arrived home that night I went straight into my room and burst into tears. After crying for about thirty minutes I decided to pray for Austin. I prayed for a while, then I finally went to sleep I knew I would not be able to see Austin again for another week, and I was dieing to tell him what he meant to me. Originally I was supposed to see him Wednesday, but that night I had a choir concert. When I saw Austin again Sunday morning I said to him "Tonight at youth i will tell you how much you really mean to me, but you can't tell anyone else. Okay?" For a moment he stood there puzzled by what I had said, then he said to me "I promise to tell no one, if you promise it will be one-hundred percent honest." I told him it would be and we befan church. Later that night at youth Austin immediatly found me and wanted to know how much he meant to me. I said "Austin, you were one of the first people that welcomed me into the family. If you were to take your life it would be like me losing my favorite brother. I have also had a huge crush on you since I first met you I know that might sound weird, but it is one-hundered percent true." As I was about to go on Austin leaned down and kissed me. At first I was shocked, and didn't know what to do until finally I realized he felt the same way about me. Then he said to me "I have also had a crush on you since I first saw you. I am so happy to find out you car so much about me." Then he kissed me again. I went home that night feeling like I had done so much for Austin, I thought I had helped him through everything he had been through. The next day while I was at school I got called down to the office. At first I thought I was in trouble until I saw Austin's dad and sister sitting there crying. As I talked to them they kept crying, and I couldn't understand why. I was later told that Austin had attempted suicide again, but this time he was taked to the hospital. I asked them if I could see him, and they said they would take me with them when they went to visit him. After thanking them I hurried to class as soon as I got back into class I immediatly started crying. It was hard to hear that Austin had attempted suicide again, but it was even worse knowing he would be in the hospitle for a while. When I saw him in the hospital he looked terrible. His face was ashen and almost gray, his eyes looked like they would soon be a part of his brain, and he looked very fragile, almost as if a feather could break him. When Ausin saw me his eyes grew wide then returned to normal. I went over to him and asked "What were you thinking trying to kill yourself again?" I began to cry as I kept talking, "i thought I meant someting to you. I thought you would never try something like this ever again, vut I guess I was wrong. I knew I had probably hurt him, and felt very bad about it. He looked at me with hurt in his eyes, then said "I am so sorry if I hurt you, I guess I just wasn't thinking when I did this." I stood ther for a second trying to figure out what I was going to say. Finally I said "I love you to much to lose you, please don't try that again you scared me so bad." When he saw how upset I was he told me to go over to him and pulled me into his arms. I cried in his arms until thenuse came in to give him medication. When the nurse left I realized Austin was getting slightly better almost every hour. I left the hospital that night with a promise from Austin saying he would never try anything like that ever again. The next day Austin got out of the hospital when I heard of this I was over joyed. I quickly called him to find out when I could see him, he told me I could see him whenever my schedule was open. Immediatly after school got out I headed to Austin's hose. When I knocked on the door I was greeted by his dad and a young pitbull. Austin called from the living room "Is that Raygen? Or is it somebody else from the church here?" I walked into the living room where I found Austin laying on the couch with a older pitbull in his lap. When the dog saw me he came and greeted me with a jump and lick. Me and Austin were laughing very hard, then Austin began coughing and I became very worried. When Austin saw the look on my face he told me he was fine he just laughed to hard. I asked Austin "Why did they release you from the hospital?" He looked hurt by me saying that, but replied "I was doing a lot better after I saw you. I thought you would be happy that I was out." "I am happy your out it's just you still seemed a bit out of it, and not sure what was going on." "Well then I guess you just want me to go back," When Austin said that he pulled out a full bottle of pills, "I'll do it, I'm serious. It seems you didn't want me out of the hospital yet." He said. I began to cry and said "No that is not it I am so happy your out it's just I thought they would keep you longer to really make sure you were okay." I could tell he felt bad about what he said and did. "I'm really sorry I shouldn't have done that, I should have asked why you felt that way." Austin said. I walked over to him slowly and took the pill bottle away from him. Suddenly hsi did walked in, he asked what was wrong and I replied "Austin was going to take more pills, but I stopped him before he could do it." His dad said thank you to me then left the room. I turned to Austin and said "You already know how much you mean to me, so I would really appreciate it if you didn't scare me like that again." He promised he would never do anything like that again, and pulled me into his arms. I felt a little better being in Austin's arms, but I constantly thought about what had just happend between us. I went home late that night thinking of how I had saved Austin. A few weeks later I saw Austin again, he was a lot better and had no more suicidal thoughts. I was very happy to hear this, Austin is now a very happy person and no longer has problems with anyone.
