Learn how to love (Dream Team fanfic)

Chapter 31 ~ Push

George started to shake, it started in his right hand, then traveled to his legs. Sitting side by side again, Dream could feel how bad he shook, and felt the need to ask,
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," George responded immediately, voice perfectly lighthearted in order to calm the other's nerves, failing at doing so for his own. But it continued.

The thoughts he'd decided were right.

The reasons he never broke them, confessed, all of those rules he'd set for himself, he just broke. He broke them all.
"You live so recklessly" George joked, yet the reality behind his words flowed deep.

Dream didn't catch onto this and laughed, used to this joke by his friends, hearing it often. He put a hand to the back of his head and scratched,
"Haha, I know I know." George would've gotten away with this lighthearted play talk if it hadn't been for his body betraying him. The concern on Dream's face returned. "seriously, are you alright?" George rolled his eyes.

"Yes, it's the weather, it's gotten so cold suddenly," He said, fake chattering his teeth and holding himself again to play it off. Dream, choosing to believe him, and adamant about avoiding talking about the kiss, suggested they get off the tree and head home. George agreed.

The perks of kissing your best friend is, you don't have to wait to tell your best friend all about it.

"God, I was so nervous" George said, suppressing his panicky voice. Dream laughed a bit.

"I was SO thirsty oh my gosh I thought I was gonna literally cut you with how dry my lips were." Dream said hurriedly. George chuckled softly.

"They we're actually quite soft,"

And Dream was so red he had to pull his mask down.

God this feeling was so rare amongst people. They felt like the only ones in the world.

But they weren't. George wouldn't dare let himself forget it.

It had gotten quite dark now, if they didn't get back soon, Bad would worry. Where had the day gone?

As they jumped down, George stumbled more than he should have. He had to hit his thighs with his fists to get them to start working again.

Luckily, Dream strode ahead of him and moved a bit too quickly, adrenaline  causing him to miss out on George's struggle.

Once gaining enough control of his legs, George had to speed-walk just to keep up beside Dream.

    The night truly had gotten cold, and both of them began to notice this as the warm fuzzies finally began to fade, reality setting in. They both decided to keep the silence as they walked. Whether it be from the awkwardness of not knowing what to say, or the exhaustion from a long day settling in, no one spoke, yet both knew it was the former.

They were content though, wondering what was going to come next as they trekked over the landscape, moving their bodies to keep warm. The sound of their footsteps and breathing painfully loud.

The downside to this silence, was in fact, the thinking. All the worries that had gone away when they were connected, were multiplied by a million now. Despite this, all they wanted was another hit, another moment of bliss, to escape the shitty reality that was the world they lived in and everything else that would come to follow.

    George's mind seemed to graze over  everything, but they both thought of Sapnap. More guilt, as their feet splashed in the puddles of a swamp.

George felt like they'd done it for all the wrong reasons. He circled back to how they should've just kept their secrets, over and over, that they should've kissed longer, longer and harder. He wished that the other hadn't had such an effect on him, that their "experimental" kiss had been just that, and that he wouldn't have liked it as much as he did. That love didn't hurt as much as it did.

Suddenly George stopped walking, on a ledge which Dream had already hopped off. Noticing his absence, he turned, to see George standing, teetering on the edge of the curb, holding himself, and...crying?

Shocked by this reaction Dream stayed silent for a moment, hoping to understand if he was seeing this right. It was dark enough so that he could barely see his friend's face. Was it imagination?

"Are- are you crying?" Dream asked finally, after a terribly uncomfortable silence they both had to sit through.

"No! Of course not," George said, before realizing his voice was clearly one of someone who was indeed crying. Dream flipped a switch.

"Aw, come here," Dream said elongating the sound, holding out his arms. He really didn't know how else to respond to a friend he had only ever joked around with.

This was all so different.

He was unused to seeing the pain and hurt in George's eyes, emotions that he knew he caused. George felt the same.

His statement didn't sit well with George.

It was odd to be crying in front of his friend, but his response to it and the way he offered the hug made him feel childish and quite embarrassed for crying in the first place. He stayed where he was. A blush covered by the darkness of the night.

He did not have much of a choice though, because Dream had walked forward anyway, engulfing him in a bone-crushing embrace.

This only made George feel worse. He was completely unable to see, but Dreams scent, engulfing him whole. It was hard to stop crying now.

He wanted this hug, he wanted Dream so badly, but then his guilt was doubled as he felt all of this, and he found himself next sobbing on his shoulder regardless of his own embarrassment.

Was there no answer? Would he lose one friend for another? How could he have both? Was it possible? Was everything hopeless?

The unknown. A fear that had wrapped its chains around George's heart and mind for his entire life. Unable to see into the future and therefore unable to pick the best outcome. All he could do was attempt to work them all out on his own. George cried harder. Would he lose the best thing that's ever happened to him?

"I-I don-n't wa-nt to lose you..." he muffled out. He felt Dream's thumbs rubbing his back in a manner that sent chills up his spine, making him feel worse, but so comforted all the same. He was so confused, overwhelmed by his emotions.

"What did you say? Shhh, George please... stop it" Dream asked. But he did not, he went on. Dream couldn't really understand him.

"I can't lose you... you're going to leave now. Relationships end, then where will you go? And if we do nothing? We can't just do nothing now..." He said again, forcing himself to pull away from the comforting embrace, forcing himself to be punished, for listening to the wrong voice when he made the mistake of kissing his best friend.

Dream, now in contrast to the entire day they'd spent together, looked George in the eyes. Lose him? Where was Dream going?

They were at the same height now, the curb making George much taller, and despite this, George looked away from Dream and at his shoes.

The blind confidence was still able to reach him there as Dream spoke.

"We will always be friends, George."

It came out in a tone more commanding, one that couldn't be argued with. George knew this, and though he nodded and it let himself feel okay for the time being there with Dream still present by his side, he would still overthink it in his room later that night. He wouldn't get a wink of sleep and he'd mourn for his lost friend, who was just down the hall.

Um rereading these chapters break me. They're literally word for word what happened to me in my senior year of high school. Guess what? He didn't stay, ahaha sheeeeeeeeesh 🥶

It really do be hurting more when they had been your friend forever 🥲