Out Of Our Control (High School Shoey)

Ch 34- A Midsummer's Night Dream

Beep…beep…beep…

 “Shane?” Joey asks, breaking the cold silence. His voice is so soft, but it sounds like he’s yelling directly in my ear. I look up and stare at the boy sitting in the plastic chair next to me. “Are you okay?” he asks once he knows he has my attention.

  I ignore him and look down at my lap with my watery eyes blurring my vision. Soon the tears break the barrier of my eyes and slide down my cheeks. Joey reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  “Why, Jay?” I choke out through my tears. “Why does all the bad shit happen to me? It seems like every time I think things are going halfway decent, life comes along bitch slap me back to the dirty ground.”

  “Shane…” he doesn’t know what to say. I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t know what to say either if my boyfriend’s father was lying in his deathbed less than a foot away from us.

  “I know I made him seem like a bad man the way I described him, but he’s more than that. He didn’t start beating us until I was around eight when he lost his job. Before that, he was the best dad you could ever ask for. He was my best friend. I told him all my little secrets and he showed me parts of his hearts that he would never be able to show to anyone else. Every night before I went to bed, I would sneak into his room and slip the book A Midsummer’s Night Dream onto his lap. He would read me one chapter each night and tuck me into bed after I fell asleep. He said he always whispered the same thing in my ear after I fell asleep, but I was never awake to hear it. One night I pretended like I was sleep so I could hear it. He whispered Are you sure/That we are awake? It seems to me/That yet we sleep, we dream. That’s his favorite quote from the book.”

  “What’s your favorite quote?” Joey asks, trying to keep me talking so I don’t lose it.

  “My favorite quote describes my dad and I so accurately, it’s almost scary. So we grew together like to a double cherry, seeming parted, but yet an union in partition, two lovely berries molded on one stem.”

 “What quote reminds you of us?”

  “And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.” I immediately answer, not even thinking about it.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Love has no reason. It has no logic. In some scenarios love causes problems to people blinded by it when simple reasoning could have prevented the problem in the first place.”

  “Why does that remind you of us?” he asks.

  “You know exactly why, Jay.” I whisper.

  Beep-beep-beep-beep

 The pattern of the heart monitor is getting faster. I look over at the middle age man lying unconsciously on the hospital bed and freeze in place. His fingers are twitching and his eyelids are slightly fluttering.

  “Do you want me to leave so you can talk to him alone?” Joey whispers to me as he watches the older main surface back to the living world.

  “No.” I simply answer. I take my attention off of the heart monitor and look Joey straight in the eyes. “That’s the last thing I want you to do.”

  “What do you want me to do?” his voice bounces off of the white walls, creating an echo in the dead silent room.

  “Stay.” I hold out my hands and he grabs both of them gently. I pull him out of his chair and onto my lap, resting my head on his shoulder. “Hi.” I say to the man staring at the ceiling. He turns his head to face me with a confused expression displayed on his face.