A second chance to move on

°3•Mixed feelings

Alice

I roll in my bed, one side to the other while I try to fall asleep. I sit abruptly on my bed, frustrated with the whole situation. While I replace my tangled hair away from my face. I sigh and try to calm my nerves.

Ever since Bruce put his hand on my cheek, I can't seem to forget the warmth of his skin against mine. It was only a platonic touch.

Who am I kidding, maybe his touch was platonic but his eyes said otherwise.

I look at the nightstand next to me and tilt my body to the side to take the picture of Scott that stands upon it.

I did the things I had to do after he died. I got rid of all his stuff so I could move forward. The only two things I have kept are this photo of him and his cat Chuck. It was easier said than done.

"What am I going to do Scott?" I ask out loud while I look at his picture.

I sigh. "I know that you would want me to move on with my life. But I can't, you were it for me."

Ugh, what am I saying? Maybe all this is a misunderstanding and it's all in my head. But I can't seem to forget how Bruce had looked at me today.

If I'm being honest with myself, I felt something that I hadn't felt ever since Scott and that scared the shit out of me!

I replace the frame on the nightstand as a shadow passes before my eyes.

"For goodness sake Chuck, you nearly give a heart attack!" I snap at the cat after he jumps on the bed unexpectedly.

Chuck walks up to me and lies down on my thighs, unaware that I just scolded him. I couldn't stay mad at him and start to pet him.

"I miss him too," I say to him and he starts to purr. He loves it when I give him some attention.

Alright, let's try one more time. I tell myself as I lie down on the bed again and pull the sheets over me up to my shoulders.

Opening my eyes, I am back in my old apartment. When I turn to my left, Scott is lying next to me.

"Hey sweetheart, did you miss me?" He asks me with a smile.

I don't waste my time as I jump to him to kiss him on his lips. "Very much!" I say and grab his face to kiss him a second time.

It didn't take long for our clothes to be on the floor. We've been apart for so long that we skip the foreplay and he penetrates me with one thrust.

It felt so good to have him once more inside of me, I almost forgot how it was.

I circle my arms around his waist as he keeps his movement in me. "I've missed you, lover boy." I pant out loud.

"Same goes for me, sweetheart." He says before he starts to kiss my neck.

Everything felt so good so write, as it should be. I can't even tell if this is reality or a dream. If it is a dream I don't want to wake up.

He slides his hand down the underside of my thigh to stick my leg right next to his hip. This way he could penetrate me even deeper as he starts to go faster and faster.

I grab the back of his neck to bring his head down for another kiss. The kiss help to cover my moans.

When the kiss ends and he looks at me into my eyes, It's no longer Scott who looks at me with desire but Bruce Rheims, my boss. Scott has disappeared to be replaced by Bruce.

"Hey, baby," Bruce says to me. "Fuck it's so good to be inside you baby. You drive me crazy!" He keeps on saying before he kisses me with more hunger.

"Now turn around and let me see that beautiful ass of yours."

He doesn't even let me turn on my own, he grabs my waist and turns me around himself and doesn't wait as he shoves his shaft inside of me. He slaps one of my butts at the same time

For goodness sake for someone his age, he's still in shape!

He grabs my waist to put me on my knees to go even deeper. "Keep going! Keep going!" I can't stop myself as I start to join him every time he penetrates me. I'm so close to coming.

Suddenly, I wake up alone in my bed to the sound of my alarm clock. My body is covered with sweat while my heart beats fast.

That was incredible! I am currently in seventh heaven.

"Oh God, what the fuck did I just do? What was that!?" I say out loud.

I know it was just a dream but how could I feel like this? How could I betray Scott like that!? I'm a horrible person.

I don't care that he's 20 years older than me. He's my freaking boss!

Wait, wait, wait, what am I doing? Am I considering this? It's nothing to consider. I choose to never fall in love again. Maybe there is nothing to consider. As I said before he probably doesn't even see me like this.

Ugh, can someone slap me right now! Maybe it will help me to make any sense in all of this.

I'm going crazy just because of a dream that I have only once.

I look at the time. Great, if I don't hurry up my ass I'm going to be freaking late!

I run inside my apartment, getting ready to go to work. I look at the note in my head to make sure I haven't forgotten anything.

Grab a breakfast, check
Feeding the cat, check
Take my vitamin, check
Brush my teeth, check

Okay, everything seems in order.

I lock the door and walk towards my car.

Today is a new day. I can go on with my day without any drama in my head. I will do my work and not let a stupid dream mess up my feeling. Because there's nothing even to consider.

I walk into the school with my head well high.

"Good morning, Miss Green." My heart starts beating fast when I hear his voice.

I turn around to look at him. "Good morning Mr. Rheims." I try to sound as normal as possible.

Everything goes to crap when the dream I have of him evades my mind once more. I walk away from him as fast as I can. But not too fast so he won't notice anything.

Can someone tells me what the fuck am I going to do now?

You can see what Chuck looks like at the picture above.

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